Pride Discipline Honour

2009-10-23T02:50:00.002+08:00

i feel like a total failure.

不管我做什莫，我都用心去做了。
所作的一切，却都比不上别人。
我好累。我没有什莫期望，我也不敢想了。
希望有大，失望越大。
我好累。。。只想放下一切，到一个很远很远的地方。
再见了。

希望你能好好过，开开心心。

告别了。

2009-10-22T01:28:00.002+08:00

i cant believe how much i've grown to hate ASAHI! it was my fav beer last time.but lately, it has grown to become a super cui beer. Every gulp down is so bitter,so unbearable. Really disappointing.Gonna finish the 3rd installation of 6 packs man!im gonna stop buying it alreadY!SPENDING too much on numbing which dun WORK!can someone just shoot me?

life's a joke seriously. now we all know whose the most popular out of nowhere. now we noe whose the hot property. now we all know whose the ones that really matter. Jiayou guys.Stop pushing her around and respect her as a lady yeah! Nice girls hard to find...so cherish and may something good happened to anyone of you.

i've done something which i shouldn't and i totally hate it!i need to get into the mood now but its not there yet. i cant afford to lose steam this sem!its dangerous!

LS commented that i sound happy today! do i really sound like im a happy man? sounds like vs feel like deep down aint the SAME!but wat's good is,i still look happy.Not too bad.

*you're still the one that i cannot let go*

2009-10-21T01:11:00.003+08:00

'its especially strange when i see you cry.the comfort that i wanna provide can never reach you.'

my mood is like the weather right now. its a damn cold night and once again,im downing my ASAHI to make me go to sleep!that's after doing my assignment and i should be glad that i managed to finish my part. =))

finally had the social sec handover.it was nice seeing those cheerful ppl again,brings me a smile when i see those ppl!i always wanted to make u happy but it always end up that it doesn't go well.i really wonder why isit so.Like totally.

i really dun wanna think anymore.but i just cant though i know i need to stop thinking!*PLEASE WAKE UP n STOP DREAMING*

2009-10-20T00:45:00.004+08:00

im learning to appreciate. Appreciate every small little thing in life. Appreciate all the small little things that people do for me and that has always been the case. Understand how much effort sometimes people really go all out or even take time off to make my life alittle better, happier. For that, i thank you my frens!

*searching for that happy feeling once again,alone*

2009-10-19T10:45:00.001+08:00

All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I’m officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today
I’m officially missing you

[Chorus]
Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially

[Verse Two]
All I do is lay around
Two ears full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all
I don’t know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say baby safe to say
That I’m officially missing you

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way
To let go of you

[Chorus]

It official
You know that I’m missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I’m officially missing you

2009-10-19T04:27:00.000+08:00

this is sucha joke!after 6 cans of asahi,im just high and still suffering from insomnia. i dunno wat i'm thinking but im just not myself today.

im really really very upset. i really wat to do and im really disappointed!you're very impt to me but i just dun seem to be impt to you at all! i just feel that you treat others better than you treat me!m i really that bad?i nv blame you for that and i just wish that you would just give me some response be it good or bad. i dun like the uncertainty with you not giving any response at all.

you asked me what happened but it was really the wrong time to asked abt it with other s ard. and im disappointed cos you did that becos others asked u to! you actually dun have to if you dun feel like it.i never wanted to force you.all i wish that you'll be happy. As for now,somehow i feel that you've not given up ur past and with all that's happening lately,i just feel that we're drifting apart. im really heartbroken but i guess u wont noe it afterall.

suffering from a mega headache noW.but i just cant get to sleep!it hurts,esp deep down my heart.arghx...would it be better to leave u alone right now?deep down i still noe that i still love you but i just cant bear to see u upset. i dun like to see a undecisive you.i would rather you reject me right in my face if it make things easier for you. i rather i'll be the one that suffer than we suffer together with all the pressure coming down on you.

*im sorry i have to leave.i just wish for you to be happy.that's all for now.*

~you're the first girl that managed to break me down totally.but i dun blame you for im weak when it comes to you!~

2009-10-14T23:39:00.002+08:00

sad + disappointed = ME!

really feel damn low morale now and its not the right time totally!arghx...really wonder wat the hell is wrong!perhaps...i've lost everything.ego hurt...

however,im happy for my freshie Junhao and Michelle!may ur love for one another bloom and grow!!! <3

2009-10-12T21:18:00.003+08:00

today, a question was posted to me and it really got me started to think.

"Who are the people that you value most???"

it took me awhile before i could struggle to come up with some names. i realised i value myself more than i value others right now however, it didn't take me long to come up with your name as the second name.

Have you guys stopped for a min and thought of this question seriously? And yes,i did that today!

2009-10-11T22:04:00.002+08:00

a storm is stirring. feels a sudden lost of motivation in everything! feels like getting away, running away from everything!EVERYTHING... i really dunno wat's happening!i cant just die without knowing why?

2009-10-11T03:53:00.003+08:00

its once again one of those emo nights whereby i feel super duper horrible. there's so much happening here and there that i think im really going crazy.i never ever felt this horrible before.

it has come to my attention that while others are improving like crazy,im actually moving backwards.I really hate that and its not wat i wan. Im happy that you guys have improve but sad to say,i've really like lost everything.TOTALLY! so wat the hell is wrong with me man.i really have no idea.i really hate this and i really feel like giving it up when i feel that my body is falling apart.

its been a tough week for you i noe and its gonna get tougher. sometimes, i really dunno what's running thru ur mind. Its really very sianz to see you get irritated over Z and i know to a certain extent,its partly due to my presence. i just hope that i could help alleviate ur burden and be there to give u support whenever u need it. however, these hot and cold moments really send me hanging in the mid of nowhere. though i pretty wanna talk abt this but then i knew this isn't the right time to give you even more undue stress and pressure with z coming all over. i really dunno what else i can do now to make u feel better and im totally at a lost right now.

besides that, im totally disappointed in you guys.TOTALLY...i really dunno if i could still face you guys like before but im disappointed with how you guys couldn't handle such problems and even think of the consequences of carrying out these actions. I really cant believe that you guys could be manipulated to this extent. I really m disappointed. Have you spare a tot for the team? Hall cheer is just HALL cheer.Do you really have to go to that extent? why not you guys just join cheerobics this year as well?

i think i should stop mj-ing!have been losing big time lately. 11 consecutive sessions! i really dunno wat the hell is wrong with me man.

*i wanna get my TTH back.i wanna get my str lib back.i wanna get everything back!!!arghx...PLEASE DUN GIVE WAY!*and think of it,should i join the group stunts this year?do i have the ability and time to train?arghx...

2009-10-10T01:24:00.003+08:00

seriously hope its a new start for everyone. Its really sad to see how events unfold right before your own eyes. Silently praying for you guys...all the best and i hope things will change for the better bah! its definitely another kind of learning experience for a better and stronger person. JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!

just came back from training!B-tosses today AGAIN!i feel like im dying. My shoulders are yelling like no body's business.it's good that our group stunts is pretty much stable alreadY esp with that new pair of KAEPA!!!Happy man!i wonder when will my shoulders give way!n i seriously wonder whether i'll have the chance to go for the gym lessons!hahaha...im so excited! i wanna do back tuck, i wanna do front and backhand spring, i wanna perfect my roundoff and hopefully someday i'll be able to do ROBT!!!

i must remember that there's always a reason to something and sometimes,its better not to know.Just believe and have faith and trust.i also learn that,not everyone is as nice as it seems!

2009-10-09T04:09:00.000+08:00

really wonder wat's going on?!?!?!?!?!?

2009-10-04T23:51:00.002+08:00

im a much happier person now. i've gotten myself out of cheer,hockey and vball already! might sound like a real bastard but i guess that's the price to pay to become a free man. afterall, i've offered as much as i could already and i guess its time that i cant give so much without thinking of myself anymore.

all i wan is just to be happy and go luckY!that simple.

u guys can judge me in watever way u wan it cos i do the same thing.say wat u wan for all i care, u wont be able to see things in the way i do!

sharon says im visibly happier noW.true true,probably not becos i've more free time. i do agree and i hope things will just get better.never been so happy before like totally!thank you for everything and all those that have been very concern.ppl like victor and yan as well as my PT zhangmei!THANKS alot ppl...great to have u guys ard.

*im a hall cheerleader no more*
*im a hall vballer no more*
*im a hall hockey player no more*
*im a free man now!!!YEAAAAAaaaa*
thanks for all that had happen, i've gotten myself a valuable lesson!

2009-09-30T02:52:00.000+08:00

what kind of happiness can you offer when you have nothing at all?

so long as u keep smiling,all is worth that effort.

actually,i just feel like a sore bastard now!but then again,that's just a small part of the reason to leave. its just a jersey no but i just dun like the way it was handled. but anyway,i just dun wish to play for the simple reason that i wanna free myself up!i still love vball but i wanna spent more time out of hall.i simply lost faith in hall.wat friendship, wat loyalty, watever they call it.i just felt its a good wake up call. my only suggestion to you guys is to engage the junior players! if they dun come, you guys will be in trouble! jiayou se7en vballers.

2009-09-29T14:05:00.002+08:00

i've finally decided.its time to move away when things ain't feeling the same anymore.its definitely easier and i wanna have more time out of hall. 3 years of hall is enough for me to see so much and learn so much. thank you very much. i've enough of all the nonsense and things which i shouldn't be too affected. tell me about how much you love hall and stuff, it still boils down to nothing. i guess i've given back enough and its time to give some back to myself! i decided not to play vball for hall, and im gonna just stick to cheer and softball and that's it. the rest of the free time this sem will be used for mugging and my frens. by doing so,i've free up more time for myself,and definitely this free time will be more worth while though i cant leave hall cheer for now. this is definitely worse sem of stay in hall by far!year 4 sem 1,i really hope to erase all these from my memories.

DAMN!!!

2009-09-20T22:59:00.002+08:00

been pretty overwhelmed by tonnes of things especially academic studies.project is the killer so far and the best part,hall.

finally elections is over and i finally have a successor.Nice that his hardworking given the fact that his inexperienced. Poor chee ann having to carry a uphill task of managing cheerleading and all the social events.

Having spoken to many ppl lately, it has come to my attention that feelings aint the same anymore. Especially when things have come to this stage and i felt its more of like politics already. Ppl growing dreadful of these and that and that really sucks. its time for some damage control and i really dun wish to see the end of it, or should i say, a START of a NEW beginning. Perhaps that will then ensure the survival than experiencing the fall with my own eyes.

It must be noted that im not that nice when anyone really chose to step on my tail. Seriously! and when i dun say anything means i dun feel anything. i might not be the best person to do this but i dare to say that im aware of ppl ard and their feelings. We're not machines and we dun just do things our way/ rather,force it our way. i dun believe in using the same old shit over and over again. Ppl change and thus new working methods must be deployed. I'm also very irritated by ppl that just dunno when to stop. Its freaking irritating cos when its time to move on,MOVE ON. When its time to stop,STOP. Dun leave behind bad memories and worse still irritate third party.oh god, did i mentioned 3rd party?hmmm...gosh...

its a bad bad year...like seriously.i really wonder if i should just wash my hands off everything and dun give a damn and concentrate on my FYP. okie, or should i also include giving my commitment to Denvers as one of the final 16. its really overwhelming now.options open,bastard's a choice.What to do now?

2009-09-12T03:28:00.000+08:00

一盘散沙

好失望：（

2009-09-05T01:49:00.003+08:00

ego gets no one anywhere. No room for coexistence?hmmm...just strong headed freaks.
n i cant believe u're actually so selfish! ridiculous. im disappointed!

2009-09-01T00:23:00.002+08:00

how to cope with stress?HOW HOW HOW?

i need strength to carry on.standing right here alone just doesn't feels right.
a short walk down to the com hall, laundry and back to my room could actually affect me so much. small talks and msning kills everything tonight.

*i still love you.i do!*

2009-08-31T00:01:00.002+08:00

SIBEI DULAN!!!

do wat u guys wan like seriously.i dun feel like doing this anymore.i dunno wat's going thru ur minds but i just feel very disappointed! and i seriously hate this...how nice if you were still here with us. and i kinda blame u for leaving us right now! DAMN...

and LIM WAILUN, i swear ur mind is fucking screwed up!REALLi...CHEEHONG FOR ALL U ONE!u only think of that.NABEI...limbei GAN PUA DULAN NOW!!!seriously.

and i cant be bothered already. it doesn't matter anymore

2009-08-30T04:43:00.000+08:00

back at home right now. its been awhile since i've updated and i hardly can find time to do this. Only when im back home, i have the luxury of sleeping like nobody's business. however, despite having this little luxury time of mine, im also back home to face the 3 little imps! they really can make my blood boil. i really dunno how to save them and i really dun have the patience with them anymore. i hate the fact that they ain't sensible enough despite their background. i feel very sorry for my aunt and i really feel it in my blood when im scolding the shit out of the kids. enough said,i just feel that my mum's being too lenient on them and kinda spoilt them,plus the simple fact that im not around to watch over them make things worse. perhaps i should come home soon. that's probably gonna happen next sem when lik sin shifts out.

besides those kids at home driving me crazy, the same thing is happening back in hall. somebody complained about my loud music to hall office. Yes,i do admit its my mistake but can't u freaking just come and ask me to lower the volume instead of sending an email straight to hall office. and to think that warrants a super morning call by BEE CHU as i was just about to fall asleep. besides that, im disappointed with how some ppl would just complain straight to SAO when ppl was just celebrating their birthday. and that made uncle tony suffer from PMS for the few days whereby he just takes down anyone matric card no in case anything happens. alot of things happened and i dun like it. JCRC having to force ppl to re run, members switching off even before the end of term*im guilty also*, vball team being so dormant approaching extinction, facing ppl that keeps thinking that he/she did alot but just keep complaining and not helping out, it really gets on my nerves! it has come to a point i dunno how to differentiate friends from foes.on a separate note, i must say i really love my CUBO freshies as well as joint hall social sec. it was a nice supper session despite the turnout that nite.

school wise,its getting abit hectic and messy as i've just managed to finalise my timetable and sub registration. at this point in time, i dunno if i should be happy or sad despite being successful in the scholarship application. This means that i've gotta take 24AUs this sem less FYP! im abit scare now due to the load and i have to be more discipline. time's gonna fly past very soon and exams will be happening once again in a flash.im really afraid that i cant handle all the shit happening around me.i really need to be more discipline to get over all these. i must learn to say no from now on. perhaps wat zann said was right and i need to get away.i'll try on my part.

我们渐接疏远了。这不代表我放弃了。我只想给大家一点空间，好好想想自己想要得是什麽？我觉得我没有办法那麽慷慨的接受你一直不能放开的过去。而就是因为这样，我会愿意放下一切，让你好过一些些。因为在这样下去，我怕受伤害的人会更多。就算不会，我也不希望自己跌的那末深，伤的那末重。

2009-08-19T02:33:00.003+08:00

i just feel that im more appreciated elsewhere than you do?that's how i feel.that applies for strangers that i've just met.and i admit i do need attention.however,attention never seems to be on my side. im thinking if that's the hard way for me to learn the bitter truth that u cant seem to let go.

it appears im in my own world.

2009-08-18T10:33:00.002+08:00

sometimes,its just so frustrating to see that people dun cherish what they have. why cant i be in their position then?i would love to be there since i know i'll definitely cherish it!DEFINITELY!but well,i just dun have that kinda fate.

deep within,i asked myself,why do i always torture myself?always putting so much more and others not reciprocating?mayb its just me...live it.

i wanna be in your shoes for now.at least i'll feel im loved!

2009-08-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

its sucha bad day!i swear.

im beginning to wonder if i've changed or you've changed?its getting on my nerves and i hate arguing any more.i dun wanna keep finding excuses to keep everything going,keep everything alive.i really cannot stand it anymore.i need some independence.

im also beginning to wonder if im trying just too hard.so much so that i dunno if wat im doing is right or wrong.been trying hard to keep things alive and i really tried.i just really dunno what's running thru ur mind and that's wat i dun like.it really feels like shit when u're having a good time now while im back here feeling like an arse.

on a separate note,i just wanna get back to hall and live on my own.i dun wanna come home to get nag and scream at.i need my own freedom.i dun wanna face the kids at home.they just make my blood boil.arghx...

*i think im losing myself*

2009-08-12T23:19:00.000+08:00

seriously fucking disappointing :(

2009-08-09T21:56:00.003+08:00

FOC is finally over.bittersweet kinda feeling!really...i really miss those times i were a GL and the feeling is definitely different being anyone else involved in the camp other than being a GL!yes...i could have step up easily to be another GL this year but i din.somehow i do have a lil regrets that im not a GL this year but well,i guess its time to move on.

i dunno if its like wat he said that he purposely didn't wanna mentioned my name first and he actually knew my name.but its really sad and disappointing that im just a photographer to him and and mayb many others. although that feeling sucks,im happy i managed to capture quite a few bit of fotos for this group of freshies for them to take away.im happy we got the best OG but wat matter most to me now would be that this group of freshies enjoyed themselves and will not forget these memories and bonds forge during the camp.most importantly is for them to feel at home and proud to be part of the family and willing to come out and contribute and play a part for the family.

*its not right to compare.perhaps im just jealous.*

2009-08-01T12:50:00.003+08:00

Hoho...im officially down!after spending a few days at sports camp,im sick!well,everything seems so unreal after all.idky but it just seems so unreal that its my last sports camp.CJ ask me if i feel anything for it,i just couldn't give him a definite ans.besides...SU16 is definitely not that a good year for all.with all the casualties and fever cases,it affected the camp quite abit. morale running low with ppl falling out along the way.

seems like things aint going exactly the way i wan it.its really sucky but im not in control.idk idk idk...the more i noe,the more miserable i'll get.Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y ????M i really that useless?

2009-07-22T19:59:00.001+08:00

urgent need to unwind!to sort out the unsettled mind!to get out of the crazy world!

2009-07-22T16:53:00.003+08:00

whirlwind of thoughts right now!

Happy yet sad. idk how to explain.

2009-07-22T05:05:00.003+08:00

oh gosh...im feeling damn bad right now!seriously DAMN BAD.

i hate to be involved in politics and that's the main reason why i wouldn't wanna be involved in anything.That's the reason why i always chose to take the backseat and be termed as slack.i still wanna maintain my r/s well and make my world a better place,the ideal world.

its not that i wanna walk out on the family.its not easy to and i dun feel good as well,its just that i dun feel ready to even commit.i dun wanna give false hopes.i dun wanna walk out when things get more complicated.i dun wanna reach a point whereby i cant even make a U-turn when i have too.by then,it will be too late.

2009-07-22T01:30:00.000+08:00

im secretly hoping that i'll still be able to carry on with wat i wanna do on sunday!seriously hope so though i dunno if it might be ur kinda fun!

well...though its not cfm,its kinda sad to hear that you're able to cfm plans which will be in august than any short term plans.to a certain extent,i felt like its so difficult for you to accept a date from me even though we went out today.oh well,i just tot we could spend 1 more day together before i'll be gone away from trainings.Be it gone for at least 2-3 weeks or gone for good.i'll never noe...but i'll never wanna pressure u cos of the simple fact that you dun like.

2009-07-20T22:12:00.003+08:00

feels like crap.i really feel like shifting straight back to hall man.im tired of all these.really atrocious!i really wonder if im able to continue staying right in this home?or m i really so used to staying alone,doing watever i wanna do,my way!

i need MORE PEACE...SILENCE...and HARMONY!and it seems that i wont be able to get it back home and thus i'll have to escape back to my 2nd home. i'm heading back!real soon!

FUCK...i hate it when everything seems to be against me.even the air con have to play a prank on me!thanks...REALLY!i love it totally.

2009-07-20T01:37:00.002+08:00

hmmm...im happy today though i din do much!i finally managed to try a TTH with sharon.not bad...but the bad thing abt it is,mengheng is USING GU LAT to do his extension BLK.NO GOOD...u need to get the technique right!ie...im not suppose to use GU LAT!ie...my hands to extension still needs more training!

it was nice spending sometime thinking of routines for future use.we tried to brainstorm and generate ideas and noted them down!hopefully we'll be able to do something really good and out of the world!so looking forward!

pinoy performance was today too.i think its pretty bad cos we really ain't prepared for the performance.just anyhow whack nia.and well,i can feel that im aggravating my left wrist injury!it still hurts though i think i can tahan.but well,i think its abt time to retreat into the comfort zone.but well done to the 2 flyers that managed to try and learn something and use it on the spot.now we just need you girls to get back to training ground and perfect the technique.and super thanks to jimmy for saving the stunts man!his like the sure can do monster in my mind.heheheh...RESPECTS

camps coming,sch starting...will i still be able to keep up with this kinda lifestyle?i really wonder.

2009-07-19T03:27:00.000+08:00

i just couldn't sleep!many thoughts running thru my head.

its sad to see that you're injured again.i swear the feeling of being injured sucks. esp when u have to sit out of something which u're passionate abt? i swear i share ur pain.i did experience something like that before but perhaps same same but different.i hate it when i have to sit out and not train while my frens as training.i hate it cos it feels like im so useless.sometimes,when i try to push myself and tell myself i can try,it just make things worse and lengthen the time required to recover.instead of helping myself to recover faster and train with the rest,it just gets worse.please please just take a good break.

i seriously hate insensitive bitch and bastards.is it really time to tell them off?now i unds how it feels to be hurt by such ppl. NNB...DLBT!

2009-07-18T21:08:00.003+08:00

F.U.C.K

wat is wrong with these ppl?arghx...i seriously hate this?why must things turn out this way?cant we just be a little more sensitive to ppl ard us?can't we just spare a thought or give some benefits of doubt to others?why must there be insensitive ppl crapping things out of their mouth without going through their BLOODY BRAINS.and freaking O hell,i did that afew mths back. Which probably lead to you being so unhappy now?

i feel useless cos it seems like i cant do anything?i feel useless cos im not the one that you always turn to?why must it always be him?i really hate to see ya cry!really...and with all that's happening,it really made me take a step back to think twice about my decision.its really annoying...i wanna do something but im afraid it might backfire.its oki if i dun get to cheer anymore.but it doesn't matter to me.its oki for me to get targetted and stuff but i just want you to be happy.i really wonder if the time is right now.arghx...cant it be as simple as a family that cares for one another instead of having ego problems,doubting one another,not listening and insisting on one's way?im beginning to see more and more...its really a pity!

all i wish to say is that i really hope you guys wont take for granted certain ppl that's been putting in so much.we came in as neutral parties but we could see who were the ones that are doing the job and all.whose being taken for granted.all i wish for is that each and everyone could just give everyone a little bit of respect and be abit more sensitive to one another's feeling.i really dun wish to see this team falling apart.

im disappointed...im frustrated...im upset.im watever u can think of now.yes im negative,very!its difficult for me to handle all these right now!arghx...i hate this.

2009-07-17T00:33:00.003+08:00

well...seems like its my last 2 weeks of full fledge training before i start having camps!all i wanna do within this 2 weeks would be to get the following stuff done:

1. toss ext
2. straight lib
3. Cupid
4. Btoss

this is on top of hall routine training!

besides that...i seriously hope we'll be able to spend next sunday together before i disappear for camps for 2 weeks.i noe im gonna miss ya and i dun wanna put pressure on u.if its not going to happen then so be it.just too bad,we can always do it again.and i dun wanna you to feel pressured to keep that day free becos im gonna be away for 2 freaking weeks!mayb u wont...but well,i rather u not know it.

tat's all folks...im happy my part time darling will be back tml!and its nice talking to lingy today!haven seen her for ages.i've not forgotten you!

*i'll tell u abt it soon...trust me.*

2009-07-17T00:02:00.002+08:00

i've got this feeling that we're drifting away!i dunno why.perhaps becos of the workshop and stuff,it seems to have given you a bad image of us.but well,i would say that's how we do things!u'll learn all these in all the management classes too.im not saying that wat u feel is wrong but we're like exchanging ideas. in actual fact,if u dun wan to,you can chose wat you wanna do and how you wanna do it.no matter wat,i'll still be along the way to help you out.

i really dunno wat's going on now but im still gonna be myself!i can make small changes to myself to fit in but not major ones.i think you really have to move on cos it doesn't seem to be the case. its definitely gonna be painful but i guess that's the only way man!

2009-07-14T23:59:00.002+08:00

love hate kinda feeling.

Sent off my frenly monster cheerleaders this afternoon!im really thankful that i had the chance to meet nice ppl that's willing to impart their knowledge without showing any sense of arrogance!i really love them alot and i mean it!im falling in love with taiwanese! xiong ge, xiao gong,xiao jun,kevin, mao guai,ba gua, xiao zhao,ya ling and ah song!i miss u ppl...that includes ppl like cong ming,xiao jie,ya tou and many more back in taiwan!

i really wish i could join u guys for this summer camp!but then i guess its not really possible now!but i'll definitely be back for the summer camp next year!and many many many thanks to xiao gong for the MONSTERS CHEERLEADING TEAM towel! i LOVE IT!!!din expect that man and i swear im gonna take good care of it!really thanks alot.hope to cya soon in dec for the workshop!next time round i'll be a good host for sure!hehehe...

tried arabasque for the first time ytd!the feeling was great and i like it.i must work on my straight lib and toss ext!then i'll try arabasque and work on my cupid!!!im sure i'll be getting there in no time.but most imptly, i'll need to work on my HUAN CONG and put in more TLC when stunting with you!thanks for the advice and i promised i'll get it back soon!im already pushing myself!

imagine i did at least 10 mins of handstands yesterday and i still had to tahan the handstand drill given by harlis!omg...i was like SHIT!din expect that.arghx...im working on doing handstand away from the wall.i did stayed for 1 sec ytd!good first try and i think i'll get it soon!JIAYOU and work HARD!

2009-07-11T21:50:00.003+08:00

mengheng needs to come to senses that if his not good enough,then you'll have to train harder.let other progress and not hinder their progression. only when u get better, then you have a say!if not,its totally selfish to hinder others.

no point getting sad or disappointed over not being able to do.its not gonna help anywayz!do something more logical and train hard...2nd question would be wat i really want.do you really wanna compete?do you have to?and if you want to,you'll need to find a permanent partner and train hard with one another!there shouldn't be any uncertainty anymore,u need to train real hard now!so its back to the question of do you wanna compete?

2009-07-11T02:57:00.000+08:00

好难受。

到底出了什麽绘事？一切的努力就这样泡汤了吗？我很狠自己一直让你从天而降，无法好好去环匆。让你开始和我做stunts 的时候感到害怕！这种滋味真不好受。我真地感到好难受！没有进步反而退步!对不起，真得很对不起。虽然你听过很多编但我还是要说声对不起。我真的真的不知道要如何面对你。看你做high level stunts感到很开心的时候，我就于心不忍，就不叫你陪我练习low level stunts。真的真地对自己很失望。

我真的不知道你心里在想什麽，我也在想我在你心目中到底有什麽地位！我终觉得我们之间还是有一块大石头，让我们无法好好去爱。我也盼望如果有一天那块石头被仓储，我们能好好的恋爱一场。

好累好累！

i really wonder what will happened in time to come.when sch starts and everything...i really start to feel the fatigue even before it starts!i need to get stronger!REALLI much stronger than before.what happen to the determined MENG HENG. WHERE'S UR NV SAY DIE SPIRIT?HAVE IT ALL GONE DOWN INTO THE DRAIN?WHY ARE U SO SLACK?ARHGX...REALLY LIKE ARGHX...I HATE MYSELF VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW!

2009-07-09T00:43:00.002+08:00

this is really like awww...im happy for my buddy!and im glad u 2 made it together.it really make me wanna do more but well..i really dunno how to begin with.how i wish things were that simple dude!i hope i could bring u ur happiness too.

2009-07-05T01:47:00.000+08:00

u guys cant believe where im now!i've been like at PPCC for like the past 14hrs.after training = chilling sessioN!and im still at the CC.

damn shag today and i dun feel good now!like very seriously.damn my right hand!arghx...and the alcohol in the blood is driving me high nOW!goodbye world!

i miss my sunshinE!!!hope to cya tml!

2009-07-04T01:02:00.003+08:00

i haven been blogging for awhile.been rather busy lately.

just came back from my taiwan trip.it was so-so due to many various reasons.i didnt really enjoy it thoroughly but im glad i was there. its a nice place with nice people and nice food and i love it alot.and definitely im gonna revisit that place and visit more places in future!

im glad i've finally spoken up.at least its no longer a secret and we're open abt it. its good that we can be frank with one another. i believe we just need some time for each and everyone of us to sort out our own issues. all i know is that i'm very serious abt this and i can only hope that there's a chance or something.

did i like also mentioned that im posted back to hall 7 once again!i guess all these is fate and i accept it.now all im interested is that we need to practice early and get things done earlier.im sure we'll be able to have a BLASTING performance this year.

IA results were out 2 days back!i've gotten a A+ for it and thus it helped to upgrade my degree to a 2nd lower honours!!!thank god.i'm loving it. i seriously hope that i've been able to get another piece of good news. IE that i'll be able to go for the 2nd round scholarship interview after i've missed the 1st one!i really hope so.i also pray that i'll be able to get the bursary award to help me offset my taiwan trip expenses man!and please pray for me that the MIAP allowance will go thru so that i'll have more money!!!hehehehe...i need them to finance my needs now!i really mean NEEDS.not wants.

cheer wise...im abit upset now!i dunno wat's wrong with me.perhaps its becos im really sick that i feel very nua at trainings.i suddenly feel that i lost my TOSS 2 HANDS totally.i really wonder if the problem lies in me or wat?i must try and do it tml!it feels weird. however, tried back hand spring for the 1st time today.i think i did pretty well considering the fact that i've nv receive the proper training before yet~!im happy!just need to jump more @ the right time!jiayoU!

gotta turn in earli already.tml will be having training from late morning till late! shall update when i have the time again!

2009-06-18T03:48:00.000+08:00

still feels like crap.i've never gotten myself so DROWN before.literally drown.i need a float.HELP ME!!!and i need LOTSA SLEEP!arghx...why m i still not sleeping???

2009-06-18T01:32:00.000+08:00

tired and weary...today definitely was a bad bad day.was thinking abt so much stuff and thanks to my part time darling for talking to me and making me feel better. AS WELL AS pretty ashleY!i'll hold yyou to ur word!hehehe...

i feel like leaving this damn place for a while.i need to walk out of my comfort zone and expand it.call it escaping or watever not.i just wanna leave this damn place,alone.it will depends on wat happens next.must start planning for it already.but it all depends on the status of the scholarship.it will pretty much help me decide what i should do.

anyone spare a thought for me before???i really wonder :(

2009-06-17T03:15:00.000+08:00

这真是一场残酷的恶浊据
这也将会是这24年以来当中又爱又恒的其中1业
这感觉真不好受。

如果我说我开心，我一定是在骗你
我不想，我也不要。
但你开心的话，我会尝试为你开心
虽然我不一定做得到，但我会努力尝试

我也发现付出不一定有结果。
但我还是会不顾一切地把最好的和你一起分享
在你伤心的时候，陪着你
在你感到无助的时侯，伴你走出黑暗
但愿有一天，你会给我一个机会

虽然在你身边的男人不是我，
但我任然会默默的守护着你
希望你能开开心心的过每一天
希望老天会给我力量坚持下出

我只想说出心里的话，让自己好过一些些
但我也不希望你知道以后，感到苦脑，不开心。
但如果我不说，我也很痛苦。
我真的真的不知如何是好。。。老天啊！！！

2009-06-11T17:40:00.002+08:00

though i dunno you long.but i just FEEL THAT YOU're so DISGUSTING!seriously...i really have serious doubt in you and i hope you're not taking things so lightly and hurt anyone!it seems like a dream,such a bad dream.

TIAO TIAO TIAO,TIAO NI DE SI REN TOU!!!stop showing off ur FLIRTING skills!DISGUSTING SHIT!

2009-06-11T14:54:00.002+08:00

GOOD news and BAD news.

Good news is that i've been shortlisted for the ASMI scholarship award and i'm suppose to head down for an interview session on the 25th.

BAD news will be the fact that i'm away in taiwan having fun. The admin lady told me that she'll inform the respective organisation and will get back to me if and only if ASMI decides to hold another interview session for me. Oh gosh...i seriously hope it gets through man! else...it'll be a super expensive taiwan trip for me! GOSH!!!

i just wanna thank those that stood by me lately giving me sound advices.ThANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH!i'll learn from this lesson and get stronger!

2009-06-11T05:47:00.002+08:00

lately,i observe that there's a growing trend for ppl to fall in love with bad boys.esp those with gfs at the moment. seriously no offence to these frens of mine but im really curious with the growing trend.i've like more than 5 friends that currently stuck in that kinda situation now!its really hard to understand.

well...no matter wat,make the right choice and live with it with no regrets yeaH!jiayou ppl!

2009-06-10T14:32:00.003+08:00

all thx to my PT!!!you made me realised what im doing is wrong.LIKE TOTALLY!i need to pick up the loose pieces and try again! don't give urself the verdict cos you're not the judge and let end everythign when no everyone gets the big picture. Perhaps someday, it might just work! JIAYOU... 要对得起自己.

i wanna start on a fresh piece of paper now and i hope everything will be good!just give me 2 more days for a short break!i'll be back i promise!!!meanwhile, its good that you're enjoying urself!smile more and stay happy!that's wat i wan TOO!!!

2009-06-09T17:51:00.003+08:00

its getting to a point of getting too over!seriously.i cant believe my eyes.now i noe i really dunno anything.i think this is not a game at all and it seems like you guys are having fuN!yea...continue that way.ALL THE WAY & all the best.

2009-06-09T12:55:00.001+08:00

stay focus...wat's ur objective right now? I just wanna be able to execute a QB before hitting TW!!!i must train hard and get rid of all the obstacles lying ahead!FOCUS...give me strength!!!

2009-06-09T04:29:00.000+08:00

been tossing and turning throughout the night. it really sucks and im the one screwing my own mind. im really blinded by things that i have totally no control over. I need to overcome and conquer this. i dun wanna be like this but im trying very hard to control myself.

thx to ppl that care.ESP LP!!!thx for the call and i really din expected that. i really appreciate it alot! but still im tired and unmotivated. i think i just need time to think it over.im exhausted...im low...i.......

2009-06-08T22:32:00.002+08:00

tearing doesn't help.i feel so helpless.i realised how important you're to me now.i just need to reorganise my tots!it really hurts and i really wonder if i really really know wat im doing.am i wrong?i really dunno.please dun do this to me.

2009-06-08T16:32:00.000+08:00

yes...im screwing with my own mind right now!LITERALLY!i really hate this feeling.am i even in the right frame of mind right now?gosh...this sucks!like totally!

2009-06-08T02:03:00.002+08:00

fear sets in...esp wat happened today.i really just need you to tahan for just another 3 weeks.just hang in there for 3 more weeks.i promised i'll give u a good break after that!a well deserved one that is.for now,we'll just tone it down and pray hard nothing happens yeah.

dear ligament...thank you!

2009-06-07T03:35:00.000+08:00

it feels like standing alone on top of Gunung Korbu under the rain with lightning,no torchlight and no warm clothing,@ a temperature of 16 degrees celsius.How does it feels?

somehow,even if you're reading this now,i must say i've committed a sin to be jealous!WHO WOULDN'T?it really feels like you're interested in a guy within just a short 4 days!but well,i personally believe you're not that kinda person.i still believe.holding hopes up high and thinking that someday,i'll be the one!

there's so much i wanna say which i just cant bring myself to say!for i noe the grave consequences that comes along with it.Hang in there and i just wan everyone to be happy and its oki if im not everyone!

no matter wat,i'll hang on till the very end.Just dun lift me too high up to fall a terrible death!thank you :)

2009-06-05T00:15:00.002+08:00

i hope you really had great fun for these few days though i didn't.but well,impt thing is that you managed to do quite abit of stunts which you'll hardly get to do without these guys here.u seem really really excited and happy when you get to do those high level stunts.seeing that smile and you having fun was gr8.that was why i chose to take a step back as well as worrying that my injury might get worse.after watever have passed for the past few days,i will work hard to achieve these high level stunts!i wanna see you get high and excited again.its tough but i believe that someday,i'll be able to do it.

well.i wasn't really myself for the past few days.I'm learning to take things easy but then again,i'll be lying if i say im not affected at all.but well,after cooling down,i really am able to rationalise than act irrationally.i just noe tat im in no position to control anyone.i just have to take it as it comes.all i wanna say is that im disappointed today.really really disappointed.but well...live it.it might be good that im not going with you guys!

well...i think i should end it here.thanks to the USA cheerleaders.I've learn quite abit and im sure i had some other lessons learnt other than cheer related stuff.Thank you very much!

2009-06-01T10:43:00.003+08:00

im so tired now.i wish i could sleep well last nite but it just didn't turn out the way it should be.DAMns...i was tossing and turning in bed till i really couldn't take the pain.i almost wanted to head straight down to A&E but i just didn't.damns...now.i'm on 2 days mc!woOhoOO...great isn't it?arghx.i hate this.seriously.

now,atc is at stake.i think im not in the right condition to ruN though i've been waiting for this like 1 freaking year!im really really disappointed!arghx...i dun wanna hit another low point!STAY POSITIVE and stop thinking.dun screw ur own mind.fUCK!i needa sleep...sleep everything away.

2009-06-01T00:33:00.002+08:00

pain is overflowing within me.

physically and mentally.all i wish is for you to stay safe.

well,ain't in the right frame of mind to talk abt anything right now.shall do it again when im free.GOOD BYE WORLD!

*stay safe...*

2009-05-31T04:50:00.000+08:00

seriously couldn't sleep man!i wonder wat's wrong.it seems like something's bothering u at the back of ur mind.i really wish i could share ur burden with you and i hope you'll feel better soon.

on the other hand,SKM cheerfest FINALS is TODAY!i seriously believe we can be the champions if we hit everything today.i really hope that we can all do that and it would be a great memory for the team irregardless of what's gonna happened after this.im beginning to love this team even more.i feel really really touch when i receive team msges.i feel that this team have so much more inner strength!there's so many ppl everywhere watching us and helping us.Showing support in so many different ways which defines us from the others.thank you to all.

thank you for giving me such wonderful memories which i've never ever felt so good cheering before.it beats being champions and i like this.Though we've been thru rough patches but its all these little things along our journey to help us to love one another,to treasure one another even more and grow together as a team.last but not least,i just wanna say i love you guys!!!keep it going DENVERS.

2009-05-28T15:15:00.003+08:00

when u think u know,you actually don't! all the time,i like to know everything.Even to the extent of promising that i wont be angry or have negative thoughts should anyone say anything bad, i still bear negative thoughts within! i admitted it but i feel worse when anyone tells me anything with breaks!its like so OMG.i just want the truth though the truth hurts most of the time.

Its all these small little things that help to build the internal you.so just give me the truth even if it hurts. i rather feel the pain now(earlier) than to experience GREATER pain later!omg...

u must control ur feelings and not affect anyone!remember this!...yeah.nag enough already.u wouldn't believe when i blogged all these.ask me if interested!hehehe...

2009-05-28T02:50:00.002+08:00

today was a total reenactment of wat happened afew mths back!Y THE FUCK DID U ALLOW THE FLYER TO TOUCH THE FUCKING GROUND!i totally saw myself standing back into the shoes of shunyong!LIKE TOTALLY.i felt so fucking useless at that time and it was all too late.it was so heartbreaking to see her down on the floor!it brought me to think that if ever im really ready to learn to do proper,safe cheerleading. Isit it complacency that brought abt this?perhaps...i've never let my flyers down on the floor before.HOW THE FUCK can i just do it this time round?arghx...totally hate myself!all i can do is blame no one but myself.Have u freaking forgotten that the top flyer is my top prioritY!arghx arghx arghx...ARE U READY TO GO ON FROM HERE?ARE YOU FREAKING SURE?

best thing is...i freaking pull my muscle during a toe touch today!DAMN IT...and i seriously hope it wont affect the com this sat and sun as well as dun bring me trouble for the retiring adventure race.Its not gonna be easy and i know it esp after running x physique.i think my physical is really going down already!U're no longer at ur peak MAN!

love the worse in me to get the best out of me.i totally agree with this.but then again,m i doing it?i really dunno and im seriously lost!i've so many things to juggle that i like to complain alot nowadays.Yes,im not the only one that's busy but i just need to complain.arghx...and sometimes, listening to these kinda nonesense actually made me question myself if these kinda guys are really on earth right now?really nonesense.but when its my turn,will i be like them?OMG....i cannot imagine.but i would insist that i wont be standing in their shoes at all cos its freaking disgusting and really show how weak u r!like SERIOUSLY!

im beginning to question myself if i should do this.haizz...i really dunno!i dun even noe where im standing right now!its like a ship out in the open sea without a lighthouse!it sucks.like totally.

2009-05-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

IA report down, ASMI scholarship down. Just when i tot im just left with the bursary application and that MPA grant thingy, THE FYP registration must come right now!OMG...can you ppl stop being so kiasu?and i hate the feeling when ppl come to you when they need ur help.EXAMPLE: MH,do you have the FYP prof CONDEMN list?can send me?...i'm like OMG!u only look for me just for this?this is damn sads.i hate it seriously.and all thanks to the new system that we can approach the prof and cHOp them if they decide to choose you!its barely 2 days since we can view the project titles and like 1/2 mth before we can reg for our FYP projects and now,some prof have already taken their students! OH PLEASE...

today's training wasn't really effective.im quite disappointed.firstly becos there's no full attendance.it really feels very sianz!its 4days to competition and yet ppl can come up with reasons not to come despite not having enough full runs!i think our idea is very creative but the thing is that we need to all stunts UP to pull through it!i seriously hope these ppl wake up their idea!i seriously hope we can have a great ending to this and hopefully another bonus memory in my cheerleading journey!

it's the 2nd time in my life witnessing someone faint directly in front of me!really shocked and worried at the same time.please please take good care and dun be a GUNHO hero already yea!dun ever ever think that u have control over things that you dun have control of.its dangerous!!!take care,rest well and feel good soon yeah :D

have you ever wonder,what would you do if you know you're going to die the very next day?i just tot of that today and i couldn't really answer myself realistically.There's so much i wanna do that i cannot fit them in!shall update again when i find my own realistic answer!hehehe :D

2009-05-25T23:48:00.002+08:00

kinda feeling very confused at the moment.i really dunno wat i'm doing!like very seriously.the emo level is building up however,i must prevent myself from unleashing it and affecting others. its been a pretty bad week already and i seriously hope that i dun have to get any more shit to become super duper sian!

i hope im not misleaded like totally.i hope i can know u even better!sometimes i really wonder if its really gonna work.however, at this very moment,i just wish that we all enjoy ourselves!i hope im not over sensitive to give myself false hopes! MH!u must not give urself too many false hopes...like SERIOUSLY!and of course,u must not give up on urself!u should be fair to yourself!most importantly, you must remember that you must remain objective and that all you're going to go through is no longer childish games that many plays in the past.u've gotta wake up and work on it.

at this moment,i have trust in u and i hope i wont be wrong. show me the light yeaH?i just hope that no one lifts me high up to let me fall even higher.Please don't!

xphysique was over and our team managed a 3rd position this year.the goodie bags were pretty impressive but the prizes for winning 3rd was pretty much lousier.it seems like more money have been put into the event itself.totally disappointed!very...

2009-05-20T16:15:00.002+08:00

oh boy,im finally sick!and it surely came at the 'right' time.trainings stepping up and x physique being this sunday.it really sucks to fall sick now!arghx...

perhaps i've been putting too much pressure on myself.i think i should just chill pill abit!i'll just do my best for x physique this sun!i shouldn't care abt the results and just have fun and run the shit out of the entire race like i nv tried before.

on the other hand,im happy to say i've managed my first QB lib!!!shiokness...its still shaky but then i'm sure it will be fine sooN!so looking forward to training later!i must try my best to achieve more during this 1 mth challenge.

ytd was down for training but totally no mood and no energy to train lahz!and stupidly,i rushed home just to go for a long long long jog which i dunno why i only came back at 1am!sick still run and that's y u deserve to die!thinking that it could just get better,NO it didn't. n i could feel it coming back to me all over again.i hate this feeling.seriously and i hope it wont affect my performance.

i hope you'll feel better!i dun wan you to be unhappY!totally not you and i cannot picture that!and of course i dun wan to.cheers and train hard...together we'll achieve more =D

i dunno how long i'll still be ard.but for as long as i can.i wanna have fun and be happY!just a simple simple wish!

2009-05-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

Finally, i managed to do my cupid lib with pam!i'm happy cos the target given by YQ was a mth from sat's training!i should feel elated but somehow,it wasn't really the case. i'm disappointed with how ppl can come so late and dun feel anything abt it.its really frustrating and i hate ppl to be late. im fine if its like half an hour or so!but oh please...nothing more than that!that's like wasting precious training time or even others' personal time.that seriously shouldn't be the way and im beginning to feel irritated waitin for ppl to come and start training!

as for now i need to work harder on perfecting straight lib.should tone down abit on PS and concentrate on the performance and SKM first.

i like this feeling.its really you against yourself!its time to progress and i need to work on it.im tired from all the fatigue plus prawning last nite.its really becoming my sec addiction.REALLI.shall upload the mini prawning outing session on fri nite man!

i'm lovin it

2009-05-16T03:53:00.002+08:00

omfg...wat happened to the feeling?why m i not doing it right anymore?i wan falls no more!i wan safety!i need to break this obstacle in order to move further.Stick with techniques and im gonna be safe.it better be...no stress.its only u against yourself and nobody else.u know it yourself.

to a certain extent.things ain't as simple as it seems.call me paranoid or wat not.but im beginning to have 2nd thoughts, 3rd or even 4th thoughts abt this.What do i really want and how am i suppose to achieve it?

arghx...show me the light please!!!

2009-05-13T00:59:00.002+08:00

its like living in a dream.A happy dream where i feel so lost at the same time. desperate need to get real and will my dreams come true?idk!!!like seriously.im lovin it!seriously hope things will not be like before. i do have a good feel on this!:D

thank god its gonna end which also means its another start.oh please...let me be free!

*zoNK out*

2009-05-10T00:19:00.002+08:00

its been a great week.been trying and training as much as i can last week and all i can say is that im happy!i can feel that im improving but then its just not enough.im enjoying every moment unlike before.i really appreciate all the help given by you ppl.be it advice or making training fun and bearable plus all the chilling sessions.thank you so much.i'm also excited yet kinda lost for the upcoming SKM com.time is running out and i really dun see the entire routine yet.i noe we all wanna win but its not exactly working right now given that we're not training hard enough.i really hope to see ppl coming for training and working hard on it.i guess its time to put the team interest on top of personal interest at this moment in time.yes,i wanna improve on PS but i also wanna win SKM.hehehe...shall now focus more of SKM first and train for PS outside of normal training bah.Jiayou ppl...stay focus!!!

on a side note,i realised that as i know u longer,i see the worse in you.i didn't expect that and i really dun wish to create any unhappiness.but i really dun unds what the hell you're thinking and i dun wanna noe.all i hope is not for ego to get over you!seriously.its disgusting...like totally.u must also unds that by doing so you're not only affecting urself but others ard you.arghx...

lately,im wondering if im getting old or what.some how i just felt like quite a no of ppl around me doesn't really make sense. Do i have a weird mentality or are they just plain childish and cannot rationalise and be objective?take HAS meeting alone,im quite surprised by how certain groups were fighting for certain ppl. yes,we all do have different concerns,but certain ways of handling the current situation just appears to me that certain people ain't objective enough. HELLO,we only have 20 slots for that list and we're definitely looking for ppl that can contribute/contributed the most?yes, there's ppl like me that's leaving despite having contributed.i agree with this and i totally agree but then, have they seriously tot of what's the root of all problem?times changed and we cant handle how things were handled like before.Mentality changes and there's time for ppl to get selfish.all that's impt is that the interset of our hall is our top priority.somehow,i just feel that we're lacking the homely feeling amidst our struggle to climb up the ladder.but not matter wat,im proud to say that im from hall 7 and it will always be with me no matter wat.

2009-05-06T09:41:00.002+08:00

aint a great start for the day.deep down within,my heart is feeling heavy,very dull.
all i can say is, do unto others as you would like others do unto you. dun be an arse and stop ppl from moving further when u dun have the ability to do it. u know how it feels and you wouldn't wanna feel that way too right? arghx...its just a not so good day.period.

2009-05-02T00:14:00.002+08:00

i realised that as age catches up with me, i being to self reflect more often and think of issues which have never crossed my mind before. its like opening up to a totally different world and somehow, i like it. Some people call it emo,some people just brush it off with "Hey,u think too much" but somehow,all these little issues which u self reflect upon makes u grow even stronger than before.

Dun be sore with what others have and you dont. you want it,you earn it. Dun give yourself 101 excuses that because his rich,he can do this....blah blah blah.Use this time to think how you can work your way up to achieve what you want.Finding excuses is just a waste of time!wat i believe most is still Mr Lim's WIN SOME,LOSE SOME theory!come to think of it,back in those days,those theories that he came up with ain't really that crap after alL!

as for now, stop being sore and work on whatever you have.Give your best and have no regrets and dun be sore that why ppl have this and have that while you dont for i have more to offer than what i dun seem to be.

2009-04-27T23:49:00.002+08:00

im feeling quite frustrated and down lately.most of the frustration comes from work. Esp when you feel like u're doing a no brainer job whereby any banglah can do?i dunno how things evolved from the stage whereby you have so much to do to the stage whereby u have to look for no brainer things to do to keep yourself busy over such a short span of time man!REALLY FRUSTRATING.its even more frustrating when you feel so much like giving your all but end up being discredited.not like im very interested in getting the credits but all i want is not to be look upon as not doing anything or not doing good enough.i just cannot take it lying when it seems like im the slacking one when i'm like doing quite alot which no one's knowing!i really cannot bring myself to slack my time away just hanging around just to show face.i need physical work to keep me occupied.arghx...can i just finish my IA on 7th JUNE now?seriousLY?i would rather go back to selling cameras on the weekend than sitting inside the office doing so much documentations and end up being looked upon as a slacker.it really hurts.

cheer trainings have been good and im kinda addicted to training!its not only pure trainings and i like to hang out with them.within the short span of 1 mth, i've like joined them for a couple of things already!things like Mos-burger, Macdonalds and sushi chill out after training sessions,as well as Jy's bday bash and heading to JY's place for WII!!i'm loving it.hopefully things keep it this way.now im eager to go taiwan even more!HAHAH.

been doing cheer training and my regular runs.it has come to a point whereby im getting worried about xphysique and atc already.i did my runs as usual and as i run,i realised there's this sharp pain in the knee cap as well as my ankle.and the best thing is its my RIGHT leg.omg...im dun wanna pull out of anything and im sure i'll do all i can despite the pain to push myself to finish the race.BUt then,the worry now is that i hope i wont be the weakest link to slow down the team!arghx...please please dun let anything happen to my legs!

*Final week in 7 -It's been fun and great pleasure knowing all of you*
This sentence keeps looping in my mind.As much as i hope my final week in 7 to come soon, there's also a small part in me that doesn't really wanna leave. all i wish for is that for whoever that stays to continue to give their fullest support and enthusiam for the hall.no matter what happens,i'll nv forget the beautiful memories hall 7 have given me. and you cannot believe that im starting my shoot on the best of hall 7.hehehe...im looking forward to the end products and enjoying the shooting process.

*please give me work that's more meaningful PLEASE*

2009-04-22T00:51:00.002+08:00

last week was a pretty good week.all in all,a beautiful week with training on fri and sat(Special thanks to BB,YQ and Pam).I'm really very very very impressed with their commitment to the team and their willingness to impart their skills to others.and i guess w/o them,sat would have been another boring nite for that week.i do like the chill sessions after training too.talking to them and finding out more about one another.was really great and i seriously find them quite a interesting bunch of ppl!

Prior to heading down for training on sat was sanjie's wedding!it was at rochester park and the venue was a pretty cosy bistro which sells tapas and wine.i felt that the place was pretty cool and perhaps could just head down and chill with some frens one of these days.

sun was a beautiful day too.woke up earli in the morning for a jog to lower pierce reservoir to catch the sunrise.a long and mistimed jog and i could go all the way in to find the best spot to capture the sunrise.But it was a nice long jog to the reservoir and a long long walk around the reservoir to my fav prata place!well...the curry is still pretty good while the standard of the prata seems to be abit on the downside now. :( but well,having 3 different pratas was like undoing all the work done in the morning tryin to jog there.

however,things changed this very week.im very disappointed at work and im beginning to dread going for work.its very tough to act busy when there's nothing for you to act busy with.and i just hate slacking down there nothing to do.i even asked for things that im not suppose to do to kill time lehz!all i can do is look forward to training and more training!

i missed vball trainings,matches and those times we spent having fun together as a team.Now that things changed and it ain't the same again as before,i really feel very disappointed and sad. Will i ever ever gonna find back this kinda feeling back again?all i just want you guys to know is that i'm still proud of our team and achievements back then.all i could wish for was that such changes were not implemented such that we ended up this way.n after watching the intra con competition,i seriously feel that we can play good vball.we should come together and train again!like SERIOUSLY!i really feel like playing competitive vball again.

i still have 2 mths before flying off to taiwan.and i need to get my TOSS TO HANDS asap!the problem with me is I'm SLOW!!!arghx..very frustrating!i wanna LEVEL UP!i need to train more and i need to get stronger.anw,the pain is back again.i hope its nothing too serious.i cannot afford to get injure now and i have responsibilities for the team.besides SKM, i cant let my ATC and X-physique team down.please please dun let it be something too serious!

2009-04-18T13:58:00.001+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Commitment
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Being Alone
Losing Someone
Death
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-04-15T22:42:00.002+08:00

*frustrated*

im very disappointed and upset at this moment as well. firstly, im very sian being bounded to the desk with all the autocad and documentations. Yes, i need to brush up my autocad skills but all the documentations is skinning me alive. i cant simply find something out of nothing to do and escape from my desk, away from the pile of shit.

barry showed me the mail which jenns sent. it wasn't good and really reflects very badly. i feel very guilty with some of the comments but i really don't how well we could have done it. certain things ain't within my control and i seriously hate the fact that it seems like im on no man's land.perhaps you've given too much trust and confidence in us that you dun even check through.not that im blaming you...but after wat i saw.im really affected and it really set me into thinking.i've this strong urge to tell you that i wanna leave the day the official IA period is over. for the simple reason that i've nothing to pass down to the next 2 that's coming in and i guess AH and KC will be enough to do a good job of passing over esp when i have nothing on hand except those small peanuts which can be cleared before the next batch comes.i'm sorry and i should say im partly responsible for this.i just hope everything ends quickly for the simple fact that even if you dun blame me,i'll put the blame on me!!! let me go please...

arghx...no matter wat.i'll tahan as long as i can.

hmm...its time to build up my stamina once again!x-phy and atc coming real soon!thing to build up my physical as well. esp when i have 3 weeks of competition back to back! x phy then SKM then ATC.and probably the week before Xphy i might have the inter CSC vball comp as well!oh god...GIVE ME STRENGTH!

as time passes, i realised i have not much time left to embark on my project.i need to start soon before ppl start clearing out from hall which is happening already. i would say this is my last chance to capture as many memories as i can before i leave next sem.i just hope to retire in peace and i hope that'll just happen!!!

*where is my sunshine hey?*i'm missing...

2009-04-13T22:41:00.003+08:00

POWER STRUGGLE!!!IS THERE A NEED???

what on earth is going on with people's mind?do we really have to hurt someone before we realised that it wasn't worth it in the first place?i seriously dun unds why is there a need to fight for power when it will come at the expense of people you care.just hope everything cools off asap with no minimum bloodshed.

Apparently,im beginning to like this lifestyle of doing whatever i want. no more standard routines except for going to work everyday. No more hitting the beach on a sat just to play vball.and it hits me that though it was quite weird for me to just hit the beach and nua the day away,it was really REALLY RELAXING!and i seriously think i should make good use of my camera now!every outing is a shooting opportunity!im very motivated NOW!like seriously...

bad feelings aside.i managed a 15:20 for 179 route today!hmmm...i wonder if its slow cos i seriously have really been running but i think i could have go even faster.now it more of me and myself and i seriously hope i can train up enough to go for IPPT before heading to taiwan!and i seriously need to level up!im very very very weak!!!very disappointing lah but then,as usual,i dun have that kind of ego to go to gym de!so i shall just train as hard as i can during training baH!

share a few photos i took with my P&S camera.just a pity i didnt bring my baby out!!!gosh...*all taken without tripod!!!

2009-04-11T00:33:00.003+08:00

*Tell me, and i will forget. Show me, and i may remember.Involve me, and i understand"

Sounds pretty true huh?but somehow, certain things i'll just never be able to forget. Esp what AH told me, it really affected me for awhile.As time goes, i really cannot find myself going back there anymore. Its not good enough and i believe there's a greenier pasture out there!!!I'm looking forward to school to start once again.That will be the time i'll become mr MUGGER!
pray hard that i'll get to retire in comfort and peace and i cant wait for hall application results to come quickly!i really hope i make it for 1st round application man!

A long weekend is wat everyone that's looking out for when u're out at work.But this long weekend doesn't really seem to fun. For the simple reason, i spent GOOD FRIDAY on my IA report for almost the whole day. THe other thing is, no one is free and in the right situation to go out and have fun during this examination period!so its more or less a wasted long weekend. arghx...i probably just sleep more and eat more during this weekend!shiokness...

will update again.need to get some rest already!

2009-04-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

im really amazed and i like it.it's like opening up doors to a brand new world.seeing and knowing how others feel.getting different perspectives and widening my view.thank you very much.

this weekend wasn't really good.going home proves to be something very wrong.suddenly i just felt like shit and i really dun like it. im feeling miserable cause i started to make comparisons.but then again, who doesn't compare? and i seriously think i didn't make an unfair comparison which make me feel more miserable. is that the kind of life i'll wan my children to have in the future?what kinda parents do you wanna be?arghx...

during this IA period,it really got me into thinking about what i really wanna do when i graduate. When i came into NTU,i told myself i wouldn't wanna go into the engineering field. But after having such a fruitful experience, everything's possible! i'm worried about how fast i can clear my debts after i graduate,im concerned about what kinda job i should apply for?Should i go for Keppel's scholarship or should i go for a MNC oil rig company?or should i go into other fields beside marine and offshore?there so many questions and i secretly pray for a inner voice to tell me where i should go.on top of that,i also secretly pray that i'll meet HER.hehe...

3 more days to application deadline...as the day draws nearer, i feel more certain that i'm ready to go. the sense of loss doesn't seem so significant anymore and i hope that i'll be able to start anew else where. i need to be more discipline and optimistic!i'm trying...i can and i will.

*LIFE'S TOUGH.I'M TOUGHER!!!*

2009-04-01T00:05:00.002+08:00

emo u calll it.but then...i really felt something just now!i guess i just have to stick with my decision!there's time when you have to move on and its just that this time round, its abit earlier for me.

2009-03-29T10:31:00.002+08:00

ytd was out for the beach fiesta organised by NUS. personally, i felt that there were many areas which they should improve. For beach volleyball, they shouldn't have played according to time limits man. Team confirmation mails were sent out so last minute. Even when i registered my team at their regi booth, they didn't even check my particulars and issued me the goodie bags. I could have gotten another person to just reg for another team and kop the goodie bags w/o their knowledge man! but well, we had fun ytd at the beach though we lost. our grouping was quite cui as we face hall 2's team as well as another team which consists of this NIE lady with her frens. We won 2 lost 1 and we lost to the NIE team.DAMN...

anw,this will mark my last competitive game with my se7en vballers. though it didn't end off with a high note, i kinda felt happy cos at least i know someone unds how i feel for the past year. i hope that you guys will continue to bring up the se7en vballers spirit. Afterall, we've got nothing to lose and i seriously hope you guys will organised more outings and bonding sessions like we always do in year 1 and 2.i miss that kinda homely feeling that we shared which we lost it this season. and to be truthful, i still put the blame on some people(not one but many including myself). i hope that next year will be better for you guys and hope that someone will step up and organised the team well next year. jiayou to my vballers that gave me a memorable year 1 and 2. THANKS!

blog surfed. im glad most of you people are doing great. i'm glad you found ur half.im glad u enjoyed yourself despite going thru this shit for 1 year.im glad that you're doing great and enjoying the process.im glad i have you as my fren and i'm really touched when you called to check on me.THANKS :D and i really didn't expected that. i'm glad you called me out when u're in sch for a chat and updated me with so much information. i'm glad you're feeling better and doing just fine and i hope you come back to sch soon.*u know i care too*i'm glad we still chat with one another though things were not the same as before.THANK YOU all my frens and hope you ppl finish strong kz!exams are nearing.JIAYOU!

time to start doing my IA REPORT!please nag at me if you see this.

2009-03-25T23:45:00.003+08:00

zhen ke xi.come to think of it...like wat i told CK.when its time to go,let go. i guess its really time.

DO IT!

i've submitted my application already.i hope everything goes well.i dunno how to put it to you but well,i guess we'll just have to see how thing goes 1 step at a time. i shall not have any regrets since i chose this path myself.

2009-03-24T00:32:00.001+08:00

what have i done to deserve this?its really bad...arghx :(

2009-03-11T10:34:00.001+08:00

UPSET and ANGRY is just an understatement...FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT!

i'm NOT UR SERVANT!

2009-03-09T14:38:00.003+08:00

im bored at work!feeling damn sleepy and shag after getting out of office to know that i got pangseh by that gorilla.the rain is spoiling everything.from my mood to my mental alertness...my eyes are closing just like linna's!and the weather is just great for sleeping.GOSH!!!

this week's hell week.cos im gonna work this sat and sun @ IT show.gosh...i do hope my sales buddies will be there to entertain me though!hahaha.esp huifen and ah lian!!!you are the ones that make doing sales with you 2 fun and easier to bear!hope to cya later :)

haizz...should stop blogging and start typing my IA report.If not...i'll be so dead when the time comes.

2009-03-07T22:14:00.003+08:00

there's a chinese saying "wan shi qi tou nan" which keeps running thru the back of my mind lately.i also had a couple of encounters with people who keeps telling me stuff like that. one of them is ah long. His a worker in my internship company who taught me quite abit lately since we've been hanging out almost everyday!his a super nice msian and he really shares alot with me.i felt like i've grown.thx ah long.

lingy also spoke to me something like that lately on msn.and that's probably why she's a GPA 5er while im just a sec lower arse that monkeys around.its really nice to know that you have frens that really cares and she's one that i would say we are on the same frequency.i really miss those days when she's in hall being so DEH and stuff.hahaha...she really made my day.oh gosh...im digressing.anywayz,i really agree with that saying and i must try and solve this problem of mine.no matter how tough things may get in my way, i must learn to take action early and not postpone everything to the very last min.please wake up ur bloody idea!

getting emo is bad for health.like totally.i've this fren whose super duper cheerful.at least she appears to me she's 24/7 full of smiles and when i see her smile,it just feels good!like seriously...its not that im in love with her or something but im probably in love with her smile.

in love with her smile.

and dearest sunshine, hope everything's fine for you!just wish to see ya happy face everytime i cya!no matter wat happens,you know you can always count on me for a listening ear/helping hand!

NOW SMILE :D my sunshine!!!

im a sucker for this and i hate this sucky feeling currently. it feels like whatever i've done is insignificant.i just feel like losing something/someone lately w/o any news.i just felt that no matter how much effort i've put in,it ends up going nowhere.this feeling sucks but no matter wat,i should still be happy.i will.

as days pass, it also means i'll have to make a decision soon too. amidst the stress from work, there's this internal struggle existing! do you give up watever you have in hope of starting afresh, or give up ur hopes and lose a totally new (good/bad) experience and regret later for not choosing the latter?i do have high hopes for our team this year.i really wish i dun have to do this but it really will depend on the outcome of the list which i hope will be settle soon.i really hope...

*learn to cherish*

2009-02-16T20:50:00.002+08:00

hates to do this.but i guess if everything goes well,i'll leave.its been decided,my mind's fixed and it all boils down to external factors which decides where i go.

enough said.

will update soon.im just not free to update like before. IA's fun and can get crazily busy!

2009-01-03T17:50:00.002+08:00

end of my IHG journey for this year.everything ended just too fast.lost everything at the QFs.despite the strongest showing this year,i would say we dun have the form during the games.damn...i have enough of losing.be it sports or watever shit.Even studies...i've been losing too much.and i come to realise that 付出不一定会有结果. it really made me to rethink of my options and stuff.it really sucks and i seriously dun train to lose.so do others but why do we always perform below par when it comes to actual games?its really a painful end though i would say im not the worse hit for the case of softball.but i seriously feel for him.

it seems to be tough to pick things up from now.seriously tough.to a certain extent,i kinda have enough of everything.im already thinking of wat i should do next ihg.like seriously,i dun wanna join things out of goodwill anymore.i only wanna join things that i wanna do and i must stick to it.feeling's are different now,very much...or should i say,i dun feel that much anymore.i just dunno why.i wan my freedom,i wan things MY WAY.i wanna slack but play hard for things that im interested.i wan i wan...

2009-01-01T10:55:00.003+08:00

i'm shocked and im angry to learn what is happening.i'm in no position to judge but i seriously hope you know wat you're getting yourself into.this is so absurd and disturbing.If im the only one that thinking abt it,mayb im just biased.but if there's more than 1 person talking abt it,then something is DAMN WRONG.you've just changed my impression of you...and i seriously dun see what good you'll get from this.X FACTOR?i hope you know exactly wat you're doing man!

2008-12-27T18:38:00.002+08:00

如果有那么一天，当我悄悄的离开这个世界，还会有人记得有我存在的那么一天吗？我但愿能在你的怀里留下深深的脚印。但一切都像是那么的遥远。跟断了线的风袗一样，漂否不定，迷失方向。想起来也真难受，我只希望能找回从前的那份发至内心得那份笑容，过着简单与快乐的日子。有那么难吗？

just some updates for the past few days.I've started my IA already.Its pretty cool and there really is ALOT to learn.Will upload pics on wat i'll have to do soon to give you a rough idea :)

A sad n lonely xmas eve and day was how i chose to celebrate it.i chose to sleep in and replenish the sleep debt im suffering than to head out though there's plans on the table.I just felt that i couldn't fit in anymore and i could still remember wat you said.but well,its all over.i really didn't believe i actually stayed in during that 2 days but well,its already over.I just sleep and sleep,came back to hall to finish up the gifts for the few special ones,the cheerleaders and JCRC.
i couldn't be bothered abt anything and totally everything.i didn't answer my calls or check my smses.Perhaps i was still grieving over the loss totally.TILL now,i couldn't believe we're OUT just like that.n though its not anybody's fault,i still tot i could have done something earlier which i didn't.DAMN...too late for regrets.

after starting IA for like a week already,im beginning to feel happier when im out of NTU compound.i feel happier at work though i shouldn't really feel that happy since you'll be given hell loads of work that seems like alien to me.oh well,its just a relative thingy as compared to being in sch.i just dunno why,it seems that the 'think too much' syndrome keeps coming back to me.arghx...

sometimes,i really wonder what certain ppl do and think really screws my mind.Though its none of my business,but i just wonder how come certain ppl can be so screwed up when it comes to this!perhaps i have been trying too much to idealise this kinda thing and therefore make myself feel so miserable...I just get it off my head when it affects ppl ard me and that's when i feel so totally like removin myself from their world.LIKE TOTALLY.

anywayz,我终于发现自己有多么渺小了。那种滋味不好受。不好受！不好受！！！

2008-12-22T14:13:00.003+08:00

we lost.it was such a pity that we didn't take advantage of the fixtures.I'm glad i took leave from work and i think i played well today,except for the serves that keep running into the net!when it was all over,i felt a sense of loss.Totally,i felt so like crying,n i dun even noe how to.i feel so disappointed and sorry for the team but i just dunno what else to say.i just wanna retreat into my own world and grief over our loss which didn't seem to come our way prior to the match.I couldn't figure out wat's wrong and that's why i feel even frustrated.

all we could do is...train harder and fight harder next year.and i hope the team will stay the way it is or even better...*PRAY*

2008-12-11T12:26:00.002+08:00

try doing something which you dun believe in doing and you have no way out.i seriously cant believe it.this cant be happening!

2008-12-11T03:42:00.002+08:00

frustrations...

1. things not within my ctrl
2. loss of freedom
3. losing ppl ard
4. unable to process chain of thoughts
5. the feeling like before
6. last but not least the work load

this is total maddness before IA comes.i cant imagine how im gonna survive my IA!someone told me.MengHeng is strong and i totally dun agree...he WAS strong but not anymore.just hate this total loss of freedom.now i unds why i should give myself more free time,only learning this through the lack of freedom.DAMN....

2008-12-07T21:06:00.002+08:00

你不是我们的。

enough said.that was enough 6 words that totally 'made' my day.and the best thing was it came out from your mouth!be it just saying in a fun way or whether u mean it,it totally hurts.first its was ur sis in law then its you.its really not funny...i guess it has come to a point in time i'll never be able to go back anymore.the feeling aint the same anymore and what u said really hurts.a decade of friendship and all i could say is,i'll forgive but i'll NEVER EVER FORGET.

on a lighter note,i've gotten my NEW TOY!!or 2 new toys.a toy camera and a DSLR as well.finally.and after visiting ruby fotos yesterday,im damn tempted to get the DIANE and other toy cameras as well...OH GOSH.

2008-12-01T02:20:00.002+08:00

have you ever ever felt so troubled over being loved?troubled over too much unwanted love?i really dun understand how it feels man.sometimes,we just dun cherish wat we wan and ask for more.wat is it exactly you wan?come to think of it,it was really quite stupid that i didn't cherish wat i used to have.really feels very sad,esp after watching such a sad story on dvd!hahaha...

2008-11-30T22:42:00.002+08:00

im very frustrated...seriously very.sometimes i just dun see why i chose this path and let everything go.but now that i have given up,i should just leave it as it is.there's no way i can interfere and influence.i dun see why cant you be flexible and prepare for the worse.the more i try and put my point across,the more frustrated i get.its seems like im not longer at the same frequency as you guys already!damn...fuck...wat the fuck is going on.frustrated at what i forsee could be a serious problem and i just cant do anything.fuck everything...its no longer my reign and just fuck it.perhaps im just thinking too much...just too much. :(

2008-11-29T18:36:00.002+08:00

1st Singaporean Dead due to terrorist activities.
Deepest condolences to the family.
This is definitely a great chance for our government and the media to wake Singaporeans up.STOP thinking that it will not happen to us.We're not invulnerable too.and then, when u see the army recruitment advertisement,i seriously think its a joke.

Take a look at how ah gua all the batches have become?steel within?omg...damn funny.shorter serving term and more pampered children.wat do you think you guys can do?

and as for the situation in bangkok.im really surprised!that's like crazy,they cant do anything to get those ppl out of the airport.but im glad some of u guys din make the trip.i seriously cant imagine what's goinng to happen to you guys if u were trapped there man!i remember the last time i went to bangkok,there was actually riot which i didn't noe.luckily it wasn't so bad!hehe...thank god.

on a lighter note,thank for all the well wishes from all my frens.i really appreciate it alot.thx thx.

2008-11-28T23:11:00.003+08:00

笨蛋

莎:很多时候我因为怕受伤所以就选择先放弃我更因我太爱自由所以明明渴望爱情却依然不知怎样让别人进入我的世界.

杰:难道我不能给你百分百的信心吗?你知道我一直有多在乎你.

莎:我珍惜这份安全感却又担心他的牺牲所以每天的感觉还是孤独的我还是需要一个人一个人想一想.

冰箱结霜

咖啡滚烫煮不好

最简单的早餐我的生活

是一团混乱维持单身

感觉茫然喜不喜欢

习不习惯我总是说不出个答案一个人来

又一个人往怎么让他流连忘返

我不想当笨蛋

我在墙上写满渴望

我可以大哭一场

房间还是空空荡荡

我绝对不逞强

该属于我任其自然

可是我也要安全感

在某个适当程度的主张

纵然是了解眼光

也是温暖

杰:这段日子你真的过得好吗?

莎:没有你的早晨加了糖的咖啡也是苦的

杰:当时我尊重你的要求所以我离开但这段日子你不开心所以我就回来了

莎:也许我连自己要什么我也不知道我一个人游游荡荡自由久了也没有了目标梦里醒来发现墙上已经不自觉写满了你的名字

杰:单身是茫然恋爱也彷徨我明白所以我用时间去证明了这颗心不会因为你曾经的放弃而改变

每个早上

都想赖床没有梦

是最让人沮丧我的眼睛

盯着天花板也跑不出

任何对象

我不想当笨蛋

我在墙上写满渴望

我可以大哭一场

房间还是空空荡荡

我绝对不逞强

该属于我任其自然

可是我也要安全感

在某个适当程度的主张

纵然是了解眼光也是温暖

莎:难道我真的是个笨蛋一直错过已经在身边的幸福

杰:我们只是用时间找到了我们需要什么时间让我们认识了自己也肯定了对方

莎:因为你让我知道真正的幸福是什么

i feel very much for the lyrics.pretty sad case and i seriously hope u're coping well man!jiayou BeL.come back to SG sooN!

IH SEASON COMING!shiok shiok...time to train and play hard.i cant wait for next week to come.so many things to do.oh gosh...anywayz,im feeling tired alreadY!all i wanna do now is thank you ppl for the earli well wishes and my lovely stalkers for the early celebration in sch!thx thx...

thx for the hardwork!

2008-11-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

DULAN.REALLY DAMN DULAN!now i dun have the mood to go already!go all you wan.GAN DULAN!

2008-11-25T20:11:00.002+08:00

我真的很累了。大家都考完了但我还没。真气馁，想到大家都能去mambo而自己还得好好温书，真sian.我好繁啊！！！请救救我吧！