Saturday, March 31, 2007
well,i clearly forgotten abt wednesday's existence.it was the worse day i ever had.though its a short day,i freaking have to go for booth manning!arghx.it was pure crap over at NIE.there more flies than humans and im serious.waste of time but managed to crap with chye kiat and i believe 2 of us have the same thing in mind.-nv to join odac next year-that's provided that i walk out of it alive this sem.lost tonnes of blood and brain cell.
went to can 4 for dinner.and julia wanted to offer mi mac's from their hall welfare package!hahaha.but end up also nv.then the canteen auntie also remember lolz!u die...bluf auntie!!!they're gonna disturb u like crazy!i just met them and they were asking me abt u man!!!went back hall and take a shower before heading out for mambo nite with kenneth.suppose to meet my 1st 3 mth classmate for his bday celebration.so we went there..since exams nearing,there wasn't much of a crowd and we managed to get in pretty easily.caught up with issac and met his frens from NUS.pretty fun bunch of ppl though abit CMI.at first say wanna drown issac with alcohol.end up only me and kenneth drinking most of it after they left the table.then caught julia sylvia, nan fang and jevon at phuture.happily drinking and crapping.it was really a gr8 nite of pure drinking fun cos me and kenneth was like guarding issac's table while they were out dancing.met taylor, a NUS exchange guy.we crapped alot with him.super funny and nice chap and we talk abt everything under the sun though most of the stuff revolves ard girls!ahhaha...now my only wish is to get a decent GPA and go over for exchange too man!i can't wait.then went down to the dance floor at phuture before heading over to mambo to look for michelle,our cute young sweet colleague.she's damn funny but then again,well...
after the session,can sense that kenneth really out of his mind liaoz.but luckily still in condition to go back hall!so took cab back lol.reach hall and i felt horrible.couldn't really walk straight due to the HEADACHE!super headache.din kana before lolz.took a quick shower before heading back to room and saw alvin.had a small chat and realised that it seems that every single shit noe their world groupings liaoz!hahaha.head to bed before waking up for lessons @10.luckily i drown myself with tonnes of h20 to clear the alcohol in my blood man.woke up still with a slight headache but was managable!that was one of the nite that we realli drank damn alot in a short time frame.both of us probably had 1-1.5 of the bottle to ourselves as well as our drink coupon!ultimate highness.
yeah.basically that's my last mambo nite all the way till say after exams.a crazy one.
like i mentioned this morning,i've finally edited my case analysis for the last time cos i realised i can only have 20 sheets including content,cover and reference page.how DUMB!so i wasted time today again.later have to work on physics cos quiz is on tues!!!arghx...i cant afford to screw it up this tues esp when i din do well for the first one!this week is one xiong week and i realli gotta start studying!please please help me.study with me,force me to study and dun let mi use my laptop!i feel so screwed...SERIOUSLY!
and i haven apply for hall yet.and last nite,yet again,ppl like dexter asking if im still getting back the same room.that's a tough question to answer esp when zhenhong was ard.hahaha.im still thinking abt it though i would say i'll probably stay.but then,things may change.im still in the decision making process.
on a lighter note,im going DIVING!!!once again.finally found some time for advance open water lolz.i cant wait to dive to the sea bed and swim with all my lovely fishes.i wanna do a boat jump and fell my heart skip a beat and enjoy the night sky at the deck of the boat with a hammock.this time round i'll definitely enjoy man!with most of the sheepchaser gang, jonas eddy jingshen and kenneth.i'm sure it'll be a blast with goose and fren as well as jonas' fren!!!HOORAY...can't wait!
♥Oh, so vintage... 7:37 PM
time check...its 4:40 now!i've finally completed my case analysis and ready to hand up.haven been doing things efficiently lately.perhaps i realli cant have my laptop with me when i study.shall not bring it out next week onwards.i;ve so many things to start catching up.i have to be more discipline not to do whatever i shouldn't do.arghx...damn sianz!time to get very very serious cos i realli cant afford to slack liaoz!
everything comes with a reason.im pretty sure everyone noes that.its just whether we can identify and acknowledge or simply act blur.for my case...i really dunno!im beginning to pretend and i seriously dun wanna get involved in the whole shit anymore.its taking up too much of my time especially when you dun see anything good coming out of it.its such a disaster!!!wat a race and i think i should have stick to my stand 2mths back.
well,sometimes i really feel like a stupid fool lol.i seriously think i m.but i wonder why i should get this kinda treatment.everything comes with a reason again!arghx.always get this kinda shit.perhaps its fated and when will i get what i want?will i ever?gosh...if its not gonna work out, can everything just end peacefully?at least there's no hard feelings...i seriously dunno if i should rerun,shift out,continue to be mean or even doing things that i shouldn't.arghx.im really very sry but i seriously cant seem to get back my usual self anymore.perhaps its the exams stress or wat.let's just hope things get better.
on a lighter note,caught stomp the yard with the sheepchaser gang just now.it's pretty good and i like the story man.if ever i have to come to a decision like what the main lead had to,will i be like him?i've missed this opportunity once and i cant afford to miss it again.i dun wanna be manipulated like a puppet ever again.Can i?let's hope soo...well,its fun cos during the show the few of us kept using our special lingo.lixian was extremely disturbed by the show kelly was like laughing out when we kept using terms like drown and disturb.keep relating it back to reality.damn funny.anywayz, wat's my favourite color man?
world list was out yesterday.i got into toons just as expected.but then,im worried.my co seems pretty disappointed and i dun wanna add salt to her wound yesterday.hopefully she calm down and then i'll have to talk to her man!hope everythign will be fine man!cheer up my dearest co!!!cant do w/o u lo and im super glad i got you as my co.i hope i wont disappoint you lolz!well,i believe that no matter where we go,its the company that's more impt.trust me,i won't let you down!that's something i'll promised u!!!we shall jiayou together...arghx...im tired liaoz.gotta siam!
♥Oh, so vintage... 4:35 AM
Monday, March 26, 2007
well,the weekend wasn't really well spent!went for a haircut and came back with a new style.well,some of my frens cant accept it man!hahaha.but well,i think im alright with it except the fact that i have to style if everyday!and it takes time for a noob to go into such details.and its kinda tough man!seriously!anywayz,i dun really mind ppl giving comments lahz.but well,i respect that you guys have the right to say watever u want but hopefully i get the respect in return too.dun have to keep repeating and generalised can?im beginning to feel the distance between us!(*2 groups of ppl im referring to)what have i do to deserve all this?please lolz.everyone's not perfect and please do not think that u guys really noe me well.i would say there's only 1 or 2 frens that really know me well.but for the rest,stop having the idea that you guys know me damn well can?i noe you guys have good intentions but then,by generalising me with some of my frens and categorising them into 1 category is damn irritating!!!do respect my frens.
anywayz,i doubt i'll be able to go for vball practice esp when i have so many assignments due and i haven even study for my computing quiz!!!die lahz...still have to submit proposal for the race!and i freaking dun understand why we have to do a brief one and redo again and again later when everything's confirmed.SCREW UP lahz...besides this,Case analaysis for marketing will be due soon and i just wanna completed it by this week.and i have my effective com oral presentation this wed!slides not done,no rehearsals yet and stuff not finalised.and it seems that they're waitin for things to happen?and i gotta like push them and ask for stuff.damn sianz!
watched TMNT liaoz.not very fantastic.oh well,tot it was damn good at first cos of the first few scenes.but as the show progress,its damn boring!hahaha...i used to love TMNT very much man!but it seems like they've gone on a dieting plan man!
frustrating lahz...tonnes of work!!!arghx...cannot take it anymore!and i freaking just hope that there will be someone right there sitting and listening to me!!!somehow,the idea of 1 lying right besides you while you read a book to that someone sounds gr8.arghx...too much dramas!!!crazy...im crazy.gonna hit the case analysis liaoz!ciaoz!
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:38 AM
Saturday, March 24, 2007
arghx.went for the meeting for the countdown party 2008 representing my YEC with ah ling.well,at first was quite sian for the simple reason its like some kind of 'sai kang' for us to follow throughout.but after awhile,i realised that this is one gr8 opportunity for me to learn some stuff due to the scale of the event.imagine having to handle the show segment which includes pyrotechnics displays and engaging local artistes.the budget alone is like hundred plus thousand and the target audience appearing for the event is 10K!!!im tempted to get involve in this but im really afraid that i wont be able to commit.or rather,too busy.exams during nov and that means i have to skip meetings and get out of the loop during that period when its like the impt last mth preparations.on top of that,i might be tied down by other sports club stuff if im intending to run for it once again.oh well...really dunno wat to do man.gotta go sort it all out with my YEC first.i really wanna get involved and that means i have to burn my entire NYE celebration to get involved.i might not be able to celebrate xmas too for the simple fact that there might be lotsa other things to take note of during that period.omg...hopefully ah ling will follow this project thru out too.in fact,the sad thing abt being in this committee is that we're the youngest peeps there.most of the rest is as old or even older than my father!!!OMGZ....
arghx...im tired liaoz.din really do much today.except going for my online lecture and trying to compile the oral presentation shit.arghx.its time consuming and i realli dunno if its really worth it.and i dunno why it ends up with mi having to do the compilations again.it seems that im damn sway always kana this kinda 'sai kang'.mayb im just too nice not to reject it but i think its realli killing me and i cant do my other work.its so unfair.2 major assignments due next 2 weeks and gotta follow up for the charity movie screening thingy.besides that will have to go for the CSC vball training this mon.probably gotta talk to mr ling and check with him the dates.if it clashes,i dun think i wanna commit for trainings too.besides that,there's YEC meeting and universe games coming.I'm drowning again.this time...into work and studies.will i be able to save myself in time?arghx...please pray for me!!!and i seriously wanna get well soon!zzzz
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:59 AM
Friday, March 23, 2007
well,i would say feelings getting pretty settled down liaoz.dun wanna think too much or too far.in fact getting more focused on studies.i really dun wanna flunk this sem cos i would need to maintain my GPA for exchange program.though im relatively more focused on studies now,but the momentum is still not there.projects and assignments not cleared plus so much grey areas whereby i have to work hard to clear it up,its really exhausting for me.haven been getting enough sleep for the entire week.and to end the week with 3 hrs straight lecture in the morning is the worse thing u can expect.but well,nothing to complain for the simple reason i overslept today!!!only managed to go for my last class for the day which is maths tutorial.oh well,i tot i would be able to wake up in time this morning for lessons since i slept pretty early last nite.but oh well,my alarm didn't ring and i din wake up till like 1015 and class starts 1030.so i basically flew to class...ahahah
i like doing projects but i seriously hate to be always the one to push ppl to do this and that.arghx.and well...i seriously hope i can complete everything soon!i have so much to catch up with.arghx.study buddies!THX ALOT.
over the week,things happen and life goes on.im thankful that i still have frens that care.ppl like ivy,kenneth,hazel,julia and jonas and many more...thx alot.u guys really play a major part in my NTU life.at this point in time,i think i've grown and im thankful for all those that play a part in my personal development.well,please ASK mi,ENCOURAGE mi or even FORCE mi to study please.i need that reminder every now and then.SERIOUSLY.stress but still,i will push on.but dun wry.the blog will still be active cos i do need rest time to vent my frustrations yeah!
bought my new but not so new mp3 player.im one happy man now.wat's next...diving trip in may with the sheepchasing gang.CAN't wait.then comes seniors camp and sports camp.but well,the best thing is im going ZOUK this wed!!!MUST enjoy one last time before i really slog like shit!!!i realli wonder if i should just withdraw from the vball training.cos its realli time consuming!and i dun have time for studies liaoz!arghx...i'll feel bad!anywayz,gotta fly liaoz.another meeting in 10mins time!and that's the lame reason why im back home instead of camping in sch to study!arghx...damn sianz
♥Oh, so vintage... 7:29 PM
Thursday, March 22, 2007
time check.its 4am liaoz and i freaking haven been getting enough sleep.barely 4 hrs a day which is a luxury to some.but please,im not really a nite owl man!arghx.gotta study damn hard.today's a good start for computing.though im just going thru the basics only.im a happy man.and gotta really thank both kenneth and hazel for that man!i'm sure we'll have more of such sessions again.till probably we're damn sick and tired of one another for the next 3 years to come.
basically,im quite sinful now i think.damn sinful.things ain't going the right way and sometimes its difficult to say certain stuff straight in your face.so dun ever force ppl to speak up regarding some stuff when they dun wan to.yupz,its definitely case analaysis that's killing mi.gotta complete it asap man!i freaking wanna hand it up and hopefully i do well.i seriously dunno how im gonna score for final papers man.
anywayz,i've gave mr ling my word to play for TGCC liaoz.probably another free jersey and some cash this time round.hahah.realli look forward to training with the team.but then again,im not sure if we're gonna be going back to the same team like last year.arghx...i really don't noe.but i hope the games will postpone and start later so i can be down for everything.really praying damn hard.hahaha.
im feeling tired but i just realised i wasted quite some time today.arghx.i tried the sandwich toast from the vending machine today.its not spectacular and its not worth that price.hungry bo bian lolz.but i think its realli cool to come up with such a machine man.
yesterday played 3v3 within hall..well,just went down just wanna play some bball lahz!then end up joining taijie and chris's team for the game.it was fun though i realised i couldn't play like before.how disappointing?hahaha.just played like 6 matches and i think i strained my right ankle liaoz!realli damn cui.if this were to happen,will i still be able to go for trekking?i cant really afford to get all this shit when im this young.i still have places i wanna go and visit.arghx...this is just so frustrating.
anywayz,just wanna say,please take good care of yourself.dun fall sick at this point in time.drink more water and rest well.study hard as well.please please please take very good care.
i think i cui liaoz.tml morning lessons!great job man!!!...cya ard tml then...
♥Oh, so vintage... 4:03 AM
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
i've finally got it.its really time to go into study mood.now that i've got nothing to lose,i can only bang on my studies.wat else can i achieve as of now?and thanks for being there.being just there was more than enough.and to understand me really makes mi feel grateful that i've made a fren like you!thx fang.u're always there when i need support.really grateful.but i hope things will get well for you and ur goose lahz!seriously...if ever u need me one day,i'll definitely be there.
i'm alright.trust me.i must pick things up and move on fast though i noe it'll be hard.yes,i maybe pretending but then again,i just dun wan ppl to get worried for me.NO POINT.concentrate on studies first then everything comes later.i really thank you guys for the care and concern.thx a million times.
should i just change my focus?hmmm.perhaps i should just do sports and nothing but sports.its only thru sports where i derive my happiness from.arghx...cant really decide.should i play for my CC this year?i need to answer to the conveyor soon!arghx...hopefully this year the team will be better!!!anywayz,its getting late and i think i better sleep in liaoz.if not later cfm cui!
less than 4 hrs of sleep and i gotta tong all the way till late.its my super long day.i just hope i can turn back time......
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:28 AM
i've finally got it.its really time to go into study mood.now that i've got nothing to lose,i can only bang on my studies.wat else can i achieve as of now?and thanks for being there.being just there was more than enough.and to understand me really makes mi feel grateful that i've made a fren like you!thx fang.u're always there when i need support.really grateful.but i hope things will get well for you and ur goose lahz!seriously...if ever u need me one day,i'll definitely be there.
i'm alright.trust me.i must pick things up and move on fast though i noe it'll be hard.yes,i maybe pretending but then again,i just dun wan ppl to get worried for me.NO POINT.concentrate on studies first then everything comes later.i really thank you guys for the care and concern.thx a million times.
should i just change my focus?hmmm.perhaps i should just do sports and nothing but sports.its only thru sports where i derive my happiness from.arghx...cant really decide.should i play for my CC this year?i need to answer to the conveyor soon!arghx...hopefully this year the team will be better!!!anywayz,its getting late and i think i better sleep in liaoz.if not later cfm cui!
less than 4 hrs of sleep and i gotta tong all the way till late.its my super long day.i just hope i can turn back time......
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:28 AM
Monday, March 19, 2007
1)dad's leaving sg for work in Australia!and he freaking told mi his selling his car off!and with all the medical checkups for the entire family,it seems that there's a possibility we'll be moving over after i complete my studies!omg...i hope not man.
2)heard my fellow GLs got into an accident.but well,thank god they're alright!and there goes the lamppost @ hall 7 bus stop.
3)seems that the chase sheep gang is getting super affected and screwed!very tired and cant seem to break off from all the shit.what happened to the 'man' in us?omg...damn lousy feeling!hope u guys breakoff from the shit we're receiving soon bah!
4)lotsa catching up to do.and i freaking have to attend some stupid meeting this tues and fri!arghx.cant they just let mi off.
5)missed out the chalet just over the weekend.omg.i miss blading and those fun at the beach and enjoying myself sitting down doing absolutely nothing.
6)i need to stop thinking and just concentrate on the major hurdle now.hopefully ppl do understand.though i dun realli think i can stop thinking!!!but well...arghx...
7)i must START WORKING ON COMPUTING.i think that's the most risky subject that im gonna take man!arghz....TML will be the day!
8)cant even project that certain ppl visit my blog just to get news on the routes we're planning.that's damn loser!but well,i din really say anything much abt the route.points for the effort but then again,y so kiasu.tell you everything you might not even win also!no POINT Lah...just get a life and do whatever is right!boring people...
9)i WANNA PLAY LASER QUEST!!!i wan more briefing!!!ahahahaha...sheep chaser gang should noe what im talking about.
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:21 AM
Sunday, March 18, 2007
yupz...went for the arts from the heart concert at CJC performing arts centre!i finally got to step into that freak building!!!it wasn't too bad for the interior except the lack of a proper and solid sound system.other than that,the seats and elevation was alright.lightings were not too bad.
as for the concert,the turnout rate was pretty pathetic.what happened?are the publicity officers doing a good job or are singaporeans getting less and less charity-minded.the place wasn't even half filled!!!i won't be surprised they might be making a lost doing this performance.anywayz,there was alot of items but only a few is worth mentioning.The MJ dance was good!saw seok and yongzhong,fellow hall dancers!they were great!!!and i seriously think seok dances damn well!jiayou!!!hope u'll come back and dance with us next year!besides that,the jazz singer was damn zai!like his songs very much,very unique and soothing voice!!!the choir was pretty good as well as the Chinese orchestra and Symphonic Band.i also enjoyed watching the item put up by kids with down syndrome.though it wasn't really spectacular,but could really see and feel the effort shown by the kids.for that,it was really worth my time and money.
after which went down to bukit timah for some prata.had a little chat with most of the hall2 peeps.goose was there as well as fren.eddy and jingshen rocks man!and thx to kenneth for driving me back!now busy surfing the web for details and to do case analysis for MB103 final assessment Case Analysis.i think i'll just die.im super tired and shag from all the crap i've been receiving.well,mayb i just deserve it lahz!haizz...i dun give a damn anymore!i just hope i'll be able to catch up with my studies,hope granny's alright cos she fell today and was admitted to the hospital and i freaking hope i dun get any more disappointments anymore!what kinda crap is that...arghx,i think im just getting cranky with all the shit in my head...ZZzZZzzZZZZzz
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:21 AM
yupz...went for the arts from the heart concert at CJC performing arts centre!i finally got to step into that freak building!!!it wasn't too bad for the interior except the lack of a proper and solid sound system.other than that,the seats and elevation was alright.lightings were not too bad.
as for the concert,the turnout rate was pretty pathetic.what happened?are the publicity officers doing a good job or are singaporeans getting less and less charity-minded.the place wasn't even half filled!!!i won't be surprised they might be making a lost doing this performance.anywayz,there was alot of items but only a few is worth mentioning.The MJ dance was good!saw seok and yongzhong,fellow hall dancers!they were great!!!and i seriously think seok dances damn well!jiayou!!!hope u'll come back and dance with us next year!besides that,the jazz singer was damn zai!like his songs very much,very unique and soothing voice!!!the choir was pretty good as well as the Chinese orchestra and Symphonic Band.i also enjoyed watching the item put up by kids with down syndrome.though it wasn't really spectacular,but could really see and feel the effort shown by the kids.for that,it was really worth my time and money.
after which went down to bukit timah for some prata.had a little chat with most of the hall2 peeps.goose was there as well as fren.eddy and jingshen rocks man!and thx to kenneth for driving me back!now busy surfing the web for details and to do case analysis for MB103 final assessment Case Analysis.i think i'll just die.im super tired and shag from all the crap i've been receiving.well,mayb i just deserve it lahz!haizz...i dun give a damn anymore!i just hope i'll be able to catch up with my studies,hope granny's alright cos she fell today and was admitted to the hospital and i freaking hope i dun get any more disappointments anymore!what kinda crap is that...arghx,i think im just getting cranky with all the shit in my head...ZZzZZzzZZZZzz
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:21 AM
Friday, March 16, 2007
i'm standing at a x-junction and i freaking dunno what awaits me at the end of each and every road.hesitant and exhausted,i really feel like just giving up.however,i just keep telling myself its worth it no matter how stupid my frens finds me.most impt thing is that you're happy then i dun mind taking all the shit.yeah...and thx.i'm finally sick!!!hosei bo...im extremely tired but i just wanna do my best.but the thing is that the signs ain't clear as to which path i should take.i don't want to go to a dead end,a point of no return.im really afraid,standing all alone.my only wish is that someone could just show me the way.arghx...or probably i shall just hang in there sitting at the junction till every single car passes me,taking every single route before i try?now,i really appreciate the presence of people like fang and jonas for their support and advice.though the 3 of us are like drowning,i hope u guys will be able to surface soon and find what you guys are searching for.
from the recent small talks and stuff,i really come to know you guys even better.though im very disappointed and keep 'whinning' to you guys,but u guys nv ever turn me away.well,i know certain things ain't within my control and as long as everyone else will be happy,i dun mind being the odd one out.i also understand the feeling of being rejected or brushed off and so i've decided that i shall be more sensitive.im sry if anyone got this kinda shit from me before.im truly madly deeply sorry.
universe bbq was yesterday.it was pretty fun and it was definitely one of the highest turnup rate for GLs.spent most of the time talking to kenneth and jonas.really needed that and of cause managed to carry some burden for them too.such buddies hard to find!!!yesterday was 1 sensitive nite.some how,it appears that everyone went down with a motive in mind.to find their co and get connected to their preferred world.mayb im just too sensitive,but well,it appears to be the way.some how,i've already reviewed my choices and decided that i should just submit without putting down order of preference.i dun wanna waste my choices on ppl whose more of less getting partnered with another cfm-ed co.shall submit my choices soon.probably wont ask them but let them noe they're my part of my choices lahz.no point giving pressure and stuff.well...i enjoyed myself with the laser quest thingy.it was really fun and i hope i can get to play it again.then im quite sway also.to think i tot i can avoid being ponded but end up being pushed down by amanda when i was nice enough to give her abit of freeplay to relax at the edge of the pond.im so damn smart.but the lucky thing is i managed to get ponded in the standing position such that i was half soaked only.i'll learn my lesson one lolz!nv be too kind hearted...
anywayz,some how i someone to feel something liaoz.im really thankful that you're concern.but well,im really sry that im still not prepared to let u noe anything.probably just let you find out urself bah!anywayz,thanks kenneth for accompanying me to the doc today man.you're a great pal too!no matter wat,im thankful that you see me as a strength for ur world.no matter what happens,i'll do my best in whichever world i get assigned to.there's really nothing more i can ask for liaoz.thx for the trust.
somehow,i finally realised my greatest weakness!it's jealousy which leads to anger which just crushes me down to ground zero and sit and watch quietly.i shall overcome this weakness and i really wish to get back to my happy go lucky life which is not so ideal right now.i need to learn to think and behave like a 21 man.plan for my future and stuff...anything else are just distractions at the moment.i need a stable life and i want to be able to provide whatever needs my family have as well as my future family.Hazel made mi realise all these matters and i have to start planning now.thanks alot.and i seriously see a good fren in u.
arghz...i think im crapping too long such that i haven even started on my work.and im feeling extremely sleepy popping those pills down my throat.i hate this feeling.i wanna get well and drink myself silly next week with my bros.be it happy or sad...i wanna get WELL!
♥Oh, so vintage... 8:05 PM
Thursday, March 15, 2007
well,recently im not my usual self.happy go lucky will not always work on me.its just a facade that everybody sees and the thing is i really need people to open up to.thanks to fang n jonas as well as hazel lahz!we were practically crapping about everything under the sun except for our case analysis which we completed in like 1hr max.felt better after that session after which things changes.perhaps its the support they've given me that i was still able to hold on till now.i really need time for myself and the best thing hazel brought out was my commitment level.im just human,not super human.so i gotta really weigh out the difference do accordingly.
obstacles,no obstacles....they're just my perceptions.why not just face everything like it is.if its meant be,then face it and do something about it.its time to move on and see watever is necessary.but the bottomline is i dun wanna lose something in return.that's the worse case scenario.brillant ideas brings about negative reactions.i just hope what happened was just my negative perceptions bah!well...i need to progress.will you show me the light?
went for a 7km run after catching meiyan in action.though the earlier crapping session worked very well as well as the dinner session with kenneth,some how the effect wore off much quickly than expected.so i just siam sing and strum since i've like heard my favourites liaoz and just go self whack lolz.indeed self whack cos i think im getting shin splint soon and thx to my cui ankle,im feeling everythign rite now.i shall just continue to train...this is the only thing i have determination in.if i lose this,i'll be just like an idiot.nothing good etc.oh well...im a goner.
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:48 AM
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
well...certain things just dun follow the way i want it to be.i think i've already overcome one obstacle which i shouldn't have.im worried now but then again,i really have to tune back to focus on wat's the main priority.mayb certain things have become pretty obvious,there's still stuff that i know that i cant tell until everything's being made known to the rest.i thank the ones that trust mi and inform me about various stuff but then again,though u may have included me in ur circle of trust,im still not ready to accept you into mine.btw...can sense another obstacle somewhere.i just hope certain things will be more obvious so that we dun waste time and make things unpleasant.hopefully im just thinking too much and nothing much will happen.but well,as days goes by,i realised wat kenneth fang said is truth.i hope i can still revive myself bah!
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:29 AM
Monday, March 12, 2007
IT show 2007 damn cui lahz!this time round i think i wont be able earn at least 1k with so many leeches ard.though its nice working with some of these ppl but then the thing is they're not working hard enough to bring in more sales.
Comex 06 was my first time to do such major shows and with a great bunch of experienced salesperson.though pretty new,i managed to clinch 99 deals in 4 days with some help from the nice dealers from harvey norman.this time round,less those installments and pre-order forms,i've closed 121 deals on my own in 4 days.shiok shiok level up.but the thing is though i managed to close so many,its more of like me closing more to cover for those kids closing only like 50 deals for working 3days.haizz...boring.well,it was memorable for me cos i actually tried to tackle 5customers at 1 go and took up the 1 show cupboard to myself.ahahah.the courts staff was like staring at me how come i super piang.generally,though i din really enjoy working this time round,it was really a good break from school.besides that,it really kept me so super busy that i din even have time to think about anything unlike the moment i step back into NTU last nite.arghx...for 4 days my meal times were disrupted and i only like have 1.5 meals a day!small breakfast and a good supper before sleep.that's all...it was nice to see old timers like sheere,jing jing and benny in action.this time round i din get to work with kenneth and jonas cos we were assigned to diff dealer.but well,luckily i had vernice around to entertain me as well as my favourite courts dealer(sylvia).She's past 30 and she's a pretty mum man!!!hahaha...vernice always kana suan for her eye lashes and we were like taking 1 cupboard to ourselve.kinda gotta lookout for her as well as benjamin that small kiddo cos they were not closing enough deals.sad thing is i din managed to go walk around and this time we dun have poster girls walking around our area.arghx.din managed to take any photos.tempted to buy camera but den again,gotta save up for SLR!!!hahaha...relac relac...
after the show,boss was like asking the 3 of us when we still free to work for him lahz.hahaha.im excited to do roadshow lol!but then,till after exams bahz.anywayz,work really kept everything off my mind.m i a workaholic?ahahah...i hope i wont have time to think about any other stuff liaoz.i need time to get back on track and i hope everything will be ok...the path ahead is tough but i'll persevere and push on.
co-gl list...i've already have 4 person in mind.just trying to eliminate the last one and arranging them in order.its hard and i dun really wanna give up the opportunity to "chose" cos i dun wanna end up with seniors that i dun even noe.probably i should just put any juniors as my option.well...shall see for the next few days.im damn shag...not feeling too well and not enough sleep!gotta catch up liaoz...cui!!!
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:43 PM
Thursday, March 08, 2007
i'm not blind.seriously not.ignorance ain't what i can do and im pretty much affected by it.i hope everything's just an illusion but i have to constantly remind myself its not.what happened to the determination?tired,stress wont get me anywhere.certain things i can pretend not to know but deep inside,it's affecting me very much!omg...and i believe there's so much that i wanna say that i cant just hide it anymore.but whose getting near me within my circle of trust?will see it in due time.i believe there's something that i really wish to share with some but its just not the right time.perhaps im just thinking too much and everything being very 1 sided.im feeling extremely drained with so much more to do.im really reaching my limit.hopefully i do have time to talk to both fang and jonas at this show bah!i really need them to share my burden.
i'm off for quiz and to work.i hope i wont be too much affected by what's happening bah!jiayou...
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:56 AM
well...i think i seriously need someone to knock some sense into me.and thanks fang for doing just that.he just made me realised that there's certain things i have to overcome in order to get there.after the chat,went for a jog round NTU.took sometime to ponder over what he told me and to re-evaluate my stand.its hard to say if its worth it but i think i might just regret not listening to him.hahaha...hopefully i can overcome all this obstacles and get what i want.
besides that,gotta start thinking of getting a co-gl also.cause it seems that they're checking out our preferences liaoz!well...i have some plans in mind but then i dunno if im making the right decisions yet.will still have to see BL and ABL list before i "finalised" wat im planning.
quiz on thurs and fri.sianz.gotta skip morning work shift to do quiz...must go back fast to whack for more sales lolz!hope things will go well.first day target hopefully at least 15 then 35 per day till last day whereby hopefully can hit 45 bah!and please dun fall sick cos i wanna go for blood donation this time round.will be my 1st time lol!hopefully i can do it successfully!hahaha...cant wait.
♥Oh, so vintage... 1:19 AM
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
just came back from a run just now.the run was gr8 cause i actually did some self reflection on the way.i came to realise that i've been doing everything except things that i'm suppose to do.i've drowned and i need a float or rather a lifeguard to save me.i heard that feeling but then again,i'm the one that created all these problems for myself.its just hurts when you're lifted up to that level only to get pushed all the way down!
GRAVITATIONAL FORCE= Mass X Gravity X HEIGHT!!!!
i realised that though i should fully enjoy my entire university life as much as i can,that's still certain priorities that i should bear in mind.Speaking of which,i haven't been following that strictly.perhaps i'm just not suitable to be part of the 'game' but well...i hope things ain't that bad as i thought it will be.mixture of feelings but now,i just have to tune my mind back to real business.i shan't follow their footsteps and i seriously don't have the ability to do what they're doing.i can't afford the time and major sacrifices.oh well,it will still depends on situation i guess.i hope i wont be taken for granted.that's my weakness that i so hate it.arghx...well,got to devise a method to get myself back on track.and time's running fast.WAKE UP!!!i need lots of help and i need someone to listen.oh well...but i just realised that my circle of trust is so small and empty that i think i'm the only 1 left standing.what's really happening?what happened to all my besties that used to stand by my side during those tough times.i really miss those days.im beginning to feel the drift but well,maybe time's up and i'm not longer valuable.time to WHACK and stay focus.and yup,no more that meng that used to beee......
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:28 PM
Sunday, March 04, 2007
hmmm...currently taking a break from studies.i cant seem to concentrate and im always like falling asleep when reading my notes.that's damn bad and so i decided to give myself a break before i go back to my notes.
the whole of saturday was spent on everything but studies.good job eh?well,went down for recce at pasir ris area for the adventure trail challenge.pretty much like the route but i still feel a lack of something within.i cant explain what it is but i hope i can find out what's lacking soon!but generally,the route will be managable i believe and i think the routes we have used are pretty much different from what you usually expect.you'll get to see another side of singapore!arghx...spent the entire morning till evening for recce.but well,after recce,we went over to Ikea tampines to shop around.i cant wait for renovations to end asap so i can go home and take a look at what else i need to get to bring some life to my room.anywayz,had a super late lunch at ikea.as usual meatballs!!!shiok!!!after which went to bukit panjang plaza to get CDs!another great buy this time round.or rather,i like most of the songs within the album!zhuan dao.
came back hall to take a shower before heading out to meet the rest of the GLs to go over to alvin's place.before that we went to boon lay market to get some food with most of the junior GLs except for 1 cheewee!went up to alvin's place and bai nian.thanks lixian for helping me bring mandarin oranges man!hahaha...i freaking got con the other time cos someone exchanged 2 sunkist oranges for my mandarin oranges!sianz...so well,thank alot ahz lixian!slacked at alvin's place watching soccer,busy getting someone to replace me for xphysique and small talk with yingying and huishan!hahaha.as usual,chat about all the GLs stuff lolz!
i'm disappointed with the turnout yesterday in fact.i cant believe that that's all that i see.SU 14 GLs so super buay onz!and in fact,what happened to most of the seniors GLS.have they realised that they actually made empty promises to the com?i mean once in awhile you cant make it for GL outings then i have nothing to say.probably you really have something very important.but then again,there's some many of them ALWAYS not around.i know this is the recess week and some will say i need to study and stuff.but please lolz,how many of us will actually study 24hrs a day 7 times a week?some may have appointment with other friends and stuff but all i ask is just a little bit of your time to come for GL outings.im very sure you already have spend quite a reasonable amount of time with your other friends.and please...take a look at the time spent with your fellow GLs.RIDICULOUS lehz...it appears to me that they just cant be bothered ALL the TIME!that's damn wrong.all this running through my mind,i really wonder if im going to enjoy SU14 this time round.well...just hope things will get better.chances are not what we always give.you have to earn it yourself too.oki...let's move on.
after alvin's place we went to winnie's place.watched soccer again while the rest were playing poker and blackjack.so tired and nua but had to wait for the rest.well,thanks steph for giving me a ride back to halL!thank you very the much ah.well,and thanks to all those that came down too as well as to alvin and winnie for offering their place and ang pow!!!hhahaha.hope next GL outing will be good bah!i seriously hope so.
random pics i took along the way
horseshoe crab
i like this place.
here too...surely damn nice at nite!
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:58 PM
Friday, March 02, 2007
just when i thought im enjoying myself during the recess week,having fun and stuff,im very wrong.everything came crashing down on me last night.not that im the one affected in the first place but well,i could well be affected by people around me too.
after having an extremely crazy dinner outing last nite with the hall7 vballer clique at JP,things changed drastically when we came back.though i wasn't involved,i could something was going on last night.my ROOMIE got EMO-FIED after returning from blk 37!!!well,i just kept quiet and do whatever i was doing.then i realised that msn nicks were changing and somehow i think something must have happened!!!and afterwhich his engaged in a battle with the keyboard.i continued to do my stuff hoping that everything will be fine!!!till a certain stage,i was just so tired that i decided to zonk out!2am and was awaken by calls of mahjong khakis!!!asking my roomie to play mahjong and i decided to continue sleeping.well,i just hope nothing really went wrong.
what really brought me down was the call from my mum this morning!she called me to inform me that one of my distant relative had passed away.his my late grandpa's bro.i was indeed surprised and sad.though i don't really visit them often,every new year we'll definitely go over and bai nian with him.His one very nice guy and he often offers very valuable advices.i went over to his place during the 1st day of CNY and we had a great lunch and chat for awhile.at that moment,he appeared to be perfectly fine and healthy to me and i was definitely shocked to receive news of his death this morning.somehow,i really being to wonder what if someday i'll just leave so suddenly?life's so fragile and i realised that i don't really cherish what i have now.i remembered there was once when i was in J1 that we jogged to this cemetary near CJ during odac training.We came to this huge train and had a break over there.Suddenly my Teacher in charge mr lim spoke to us.he was exchanging his views on death with us.i remember him saying something about we all belong to the universe.we're made up of atoms and we come and leave with a purpose.once we've serve our purpose or not,when we die,we're just being recycled to create some others.we'll just remain in the cycle and we shouldn't look at death as something extremely negative.instead we should just live like there's going to be no tml.strive for what we want and cherish what we have.after all these years,i still haven't learn!!!all i know is to have fun and just be happy.but well,things have changed.i realised i can never return to that stage of life cycle ever again.
realised that happy go lucky kind of attitude can no longer satisfy me.most of my friends only see the happy and cheerful side of me.but well,its just a cover.though i can be very easy going but there are times whereby this happy side is just a mask.no one really seen the down side of me yet.sometimes i really wish that's someone there whereby i can really open up and speak to.and truthfully,its damn sianz and painful to keep everything within.with more stresses coming from this point in life,i really wonder when i'm going to seriously breakdown.but well,im still glad that i've good friends that's by my side.especially people like kenneth!in fact,i would say his the only one that i really tell him most stuffs though there's not many!really got to thank him for being just there to go through shit together lolz.projects,programmes and trainings.arghx...why am i like crapping my way when im suppose to study and prepared for school and quizes next week.reports almost completed but assignments still not done.im so dead.on top of that,i need some time to myself for the simple reason that i think i'm losing my SELF gradually.i don't want to do things to please people and i just want to be myself.like it anot,this is the Meng Heng you'll get.im just sick and tired of just trying too hard even though im determined.ARGHz...please help me!i just feel so lost.i want to get over it and start all over like a piece of blank paper.Will i?Can i?Do i?...*searching*
i hope you all did well girls!congrats to ben for ur results.dun wry,you'll get somewhere for sure.whatever the case now,don't look bad and think about the past.we should just plan ahead and have a vision for tml!no point looking back and wasting time having trash talk of 'if i did this and that........'move on and learn to be stronger.whoever needs a listening ear,i'll be there.
'what if i were to die tml...'
♥Oh, so vintage... 5:18 PM
Thursday, March 01, 2007
tues was hall 7's route 7 nite cycling thingy.was there as a roving marshal.i cleverly chosed the racer to use for the journey despite knowing that there's no cushion and it will be tough to cycle slowly at the kinda of speed intended for large group of cyclist.but i still choose it even though i expected my butt to hurt and my back to feel the strain due to the position of the bike.since i've like tried doing a 220km trip before,all the more i think i should be able to endure the journey and let others have the bike.well...it was a decision i wont regret lahz.it was quite fun since its my first time on a racer.not very used to the positioning of brakes and body posture.but i realli enjoyed the ride.it's really damn fast....
for the entire nite,instead of taking fotos with ppl,i end up taking buildings and structures.but i realli like those photos man.though i cant really visualise well,but i think i realli like those fotos.will post a couple down later.anywayz,we started from NTU to Clementi MAC to alexandra road to vivocity to lau pa sat and then to geylang then straight to ECP.short route i would say but i finally realised im seriously not as fit as before liaoz!cannot pass my sleep deprivation test and become abit grumpy also.that's how not nice.arghx...after nite cycling,came back hall for a shower and a short sleep of at most an hour then im off again to SRC for floorball game.we lost badly for 1st game and we still lose the 2nd and 3rd game.bt it was really a fun sport to learn and play.most of our team players were all those ppl that went nite cycling last nite.so we're practically zombies playing floorball.then i went for my odac meeting and after which had vball training at 8pm.super shag.din really get to rest until like near to 40 hours of 1 hour sleep.played vball until damn cui.ankle pain thigh strain.damn malu lahz!so long nv play vball then also lost touch on the court.arghx...really damn discouraging,,,
meeting for mb103 meeting today.but then its still the same few...i cant believe wat i hear...its damn amazing.anywayz,they were saying and asking why im so enthu.i cant really answer myself.anywayz,all i can say is u cant expect mengheng not to have fun.hahahah...any
wayz,quite tired liaoz...doing project is damn tiring can?very sianz...
ghostly pic
ball of flowers at vivo
stick man?
i like the green and this angle of shot
too bad my camera dun have wide angle.
♥Oh, so vintage... 4:48 AM
