mixture of feelings.but im more of happy than disappointed now.had lotsa fun today and it was realli gr8 shopping in town!!!hangin around...haven had such fun in ages and finally today's the day.will update my buys in the next post.

sometimes...i really dunno hw much energy i can devote and that's how much i seriously question myself constantly.somethings u do just doesn't justify what you should be doing but yet seeing that you're happy is good enough.all i need is more energy to push u on and also myself!we've got no time to lose and soon it will be exams again.

its now week 4 and i freaking realised it today when u told me.and i realised i have 3 weeks of shit to catch up with since i wasn't attending lectures and stuff.arghx...im so dead but then i hope i'll be able to influence or give u some pressure to start and study now kz?hehehe.

feel the pressure and start working...MENG!!!

was up for the hongbao presentation ceremony this morning.GOH was Dr Lam Pin Min and heard quite a fair bit abt him for adopting a very pro-youth approach.its my first time helping out at the ceremony.basically just hang around to guide the elderly to their seats,serve them food and help them carry the heavy basket of basic necessities given to them.only then i realised there are really elderly around my constitutency that really need help.i help one that can barely see or even have the strength to walk on his own today and i really feel something for these elderly.and its been noted that by 2025,1 in 5 singaporeans will be aged 65 and abv.that's pretty scary.20% elderly...i cant imagine wat will actually happen then.

had a really good chat today and i realised that i should be so naive anymore.its damn dumb of me to keep thinking of the ideal situation.its good to dream but what's bad is all i do is just dream abt it.i should just give everything a try rather than to regret not trying.its gonna be tough cos im always so passive and that's me.i promised i'll try and change for the better this time round.dun care...just whack lahz!!!hehehe

well...cant really sleep now.there's a couple of issues up in my mind and i cant really find the answers to it.and the best thing is it just keeps lingering.and thx to my fridge,i finally found something whicch is sleep inducing.a bottle of erdinger!!!just as good as ever...

somethings are just so unpredictable.and perhaps...sweet for nothings are just cheap talks that dun mean anything.dun treat everything seriously cos everything is ever changing.talk abt ideals and u freaking found out that change is inevitable and therefore one person's ideal will always keep changing.arghx...y is everything so complicated?cant everything be simple and easy and most imptly...HAPPY?

its a nite that i'll never forget.a journey so long and tough that we went through as a team and its sad that we have come to a dead end on this IHG highway.but oh well,its not going to just stop here cos the friendship and team spirit still lingers and IHG is just one of the paths that we have to take throughout this team se7en vballers journey.with this deadend for the guys team,it would mean that we'll have to make a detour/defile and keep everything going.in the name of love and passion for both team se7en volleyball team and hall se7en,we'll work even harder for next year though we may have this strongest team lineup for this year as a 2 of our valuable players will be graduating this year.all is not lost for the simple reason that we proved that by playing as a team,we're definitely as good or even better than a team full of individual talents.i'm really proud of my team and thankful for their support.Also have to thank 2 of the missing players due to commitment to other sports and leaving of hall 7 for their support during their stay with us.U guys made a difference to the team too.THanks alot.


Presenting Team Se7en Volleyball guys


1st row L-R : Haolun, Dexter, Wailun, Eng Sim, Hanei, Chun
2nd row :Alan, Teck Pin, Zhen Hong, Linus, Meng Heng, Chunyi
Missing : Melvin and Steven.


its never been easy taking up the role of captain for a sport which i've never received proper coaching before except that i have the chance to play for various teams in competitions.all i have to offer was probably that i've more match experience than most and i play the sport regularly relative to the rest of our team.with the support and commitment from the seniors,i see no reasons that me being a junior in the team should slack and give all sorts of excuses for not training.the aim for the team was to get through the qualifying round this year as we didn't even get pass it last year.with that in mind,we trained hard and we were lucky to have Hanei as our coach for free.He imparted valuable skills to us and im really grateful that we have him as our coach and off course good friend!i appreciate the fact that our reserve comes down for regular trainings even though they know that they're not going to make it into the main 6.and its all becos of their commitment and attendance,we could train more efficiently as a team.drills were carried our smoothly with their presence and at the same time,they get to train and learn more about the sport.i thank all you ppl for that.throughout this period of time, there were ups and downs.as like we train as much,we play and enjoy ourselves too.

throughout this journey,we had friendly matches with hall 9, hall 4, ex jjc team, temasek hall, eusoff hall, hall 8, hall 6 and even Hanei's external team.it was really fun and there were moments that we really enjoyed ourselves.besides training and friendly matches, we do have our share of fun too.like Mooncake fest celebration, xmas dinner,sports talk and dinner and coming up with our SPIKE IT volleyball team shirt.all the late nite dinner at ah lian and extension act as extra bonding sessions for all of us and i realli have to thank the vballer cheerleaders for coming for training and not complaining.special thanks goes out to the rest who always nv forget the cheerleaders while they're having supper and volunteer to dabao back for us.thx alot.its all this special little things that made team se7en volleyball team special to me.









oki...for the match updates.we lost 3-2 overall to hall 3.
set 1 : 22-25 (hall3 wins)
set 2 : 16-25 (hall3 wins)
set 3 : 25-18 (hall 7 wins)
set 4 : 25-21 (hall 7 wins)
set 5 : 13-15 (hall 3 wins)

i once mentioned that this will be the most exciting match for IHG volleyball this year and we did just that.Before the start of the game,Hanei gave us prep talk and asked us a question.How do we want to be remembered by the end of this game.Do we wan to be some one ordinary or to be remembered as someone extraordinary?he didn't specify that we've gotta win and stuff and all of us went into the courts thinking that we want to play an extraordinary game.

1st set started pretty well for us and we were leading at some point in time.however,towards the end,we lost the momentum and handed the set over.set 2 was even worse...we were not attacking like we should and defense was down and the game ended pretty early than expected.its during this time that all that hall 3 needs is just 1 set to shut us out completely.and its this time when we know that we've been training so hard no just to lose the game without getting at least 1 set back that set us back fighting with vigour and so 1 point by 1 point,we took the set back.that's when everyone felt the high and with such great determination from the team together with the support for our hall residents,we knew we must never let our hopes die and carry on fighting with pride.its also the first time i felt so much support from our hall and hall 3 supporters pale in comparison.i felt that my supporters were part of our vball family too and we just did wat we could and try to level it back against hall 3.and so indeed we got back the 4th set.but this time,emotions were flying high already.wat started out as a impossible journey seems to be within reach.the 5th set was played point by point again.both the opponents and us fighting back to back for that 1st to reach 15points.there was a point in time we were leading 12-10 if i remember correctly.but we eventually lost the final set 13-15 and i was the one that lost the last point.that very much needed deuce that could keep our dreams alive and i lost it.

though we all knew we played our best match so far,i could still sense the feeling of disappointment for the simple reason that everything is so near yet so far.till now i still cant let it go simply because i was the one that couldn't bring the team to a higher level and i kinda let my 2 star players whose graduating this year down.every now and then,i keep having flashbacks on that last freaking ball which granted hall 3 their victory and boast their ego especially the arrogant year ones that think so highly of themselves.even if they win,they'll be remembered for their arrogance.and i really have to thank my arrogant opponents for giving us so much more to fight for.wat u earn urself today is just disrespect even though the medal is within reach.thank you for giving us a chance to learn to be humble and respectful to ur opponents and please freaking respect the term SPORTSMANSHIP when u're playing sports and especially when u're part of the IVP team that represents the school.

i had fun for the match cause we simply pressured our opponents to the extreme.i would say no one would ever expect the underdogs team with no IVP players except for haolun whose our setter to be able to match up with hall 3 superstar team.they have like 7 IVP players and even though there's a cap of like max 3 ivp players on court,they could have the luxury of substituting their ivp players in and out for rest with a new set of IVP players with fresh hands and legs.besides ivp players,they also have IVP rejects and ppl training with ivp team which make them even stronger.im proud of my team for the simple reason that we didn't give in to them and there was a certain point in time which i believe that the opponents definitely feel threatened.this is definitely a case whereby a team will always better the sum of individuals.and to all my se7en vballers,wat we earn ourselves is not just a great game but also lessons and respect for that very nite.We have no STARS in the team but we together as team se7en vballers shine together as a STAR and there's no doubts abt that.continue to shine and pass on that team se7en vballers spirit to the rest of the other sports in our hall.

last but not least,my apologises to all for not being able to go even further.sry for taxing you guys out for the last 2 weeks cos i didn't wan you guys to lose a match and think back and ask yourself when didn't we train more when we have the time.and im so sry both my sports sec for giving you guys so much trouble becos of the vball team.apologises to both char and zhangmei cos you 2 cried for our team when we lost.i feel so bad.and thx to the girls team for being with us and cheering us on.and now...its ur show girls.Bring it back and hopefully wat you girls have experience during our match would have brought u some effects.hehehe...JIAYOU and SHINE ON TEAM SE7EN.

*learn to be humble,respect ur team mates,respect ur opponents and dun ALWAYS CHEAP TALK!*

Disclaimer: Not all my opponents are arrogant ppl except for that few arrogant IVP players which is quite obvious.this doesn't go out to only the IVP players but some others playing in the team as well as the general hall 3 sports team.

butterflies in the stomach!just when i needed someone to talk to,i dun really noe who should i approach who's appropriate for the topic.im feeling the excitement for the game tonite yet i cant seem to really kick away the stupid feeling that i suffered last nite for the cheerleading comp.the end of one thing marks the beginning of another.and so will it be a brand new beginning or just a same old hooha kinda thing again?

feeling damn weird now esp after cheer and as well as when IH season is almost over.i cant help but to feel that way cos next year this time i might not be around anymore.there's this little part in me that wants to stay and do my part but i know i really wanna go for GIP.i would say GIP is just a tiny weeny bit more impt than staying back in hall and braving the storm with my fellow hall mates.or perhaps,pray hard i dun get to go GIP due to watever reasons there maybe.

nah...will update more again.now i think i just need to sleep my thoughts away first.concentrate on the semis!!!JIAYOU se7en vballers...we've been thru alot together and im sure we can overcome this major obstacle together as ONE!!!

many things happened and as usual,ppl gets kinda emo every now and then.it seems to happen quite frequently esp in my this phase of my life.im no longer as happy and go lucky like before.having to think alot more cos of consequences tat will affect others.so how,i also believe that i've already kinda put others before myself for most cases such that im suffering in silence.AMAZING change...

just random updates here and there:

1. Team se7en volleyball males finally got pass the QF to the Semis!!!and we'll be playing hall 3 once again.i believe we can do it together as a team and i trust that we'll give our all at this SF which i dare say is the most exciting match of the entire IH vball season. Underdogs vs team 'IVP'.

2. Cheerleading comp drawing neearer and i freaking can feel the excitement already.i wanna win and i believe that's wat the rest wants too.doing full routine just keeps me awake.really damn excited now and i believe we have wat it takes to be the champions this year!

3. Ran my 1st 4x400m comp with spike shoes for the first time.and yes,its done w/o any training.timing was quite bad but then,i did my best on that day with all i could.that's like aft sleeping 4 hours the nite before after cheer training and heading to hall 2 court for vball friendly with hall 8.played for like 4 sets before being summoned for the run due to lack of runners.hahaha...
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problems always happen every now and then.things just ain't that fair after all.and wat's fair to me might not be fair to you and so how the hell do we define fair?from my point of view,i do understand how you ppl feel.yes,talk abt changing of formation and not enough mo qi.YES i do understand wat's wrong.but on the other hand,with the change in how things are managed = better chances for the guys team.its like being caught in a situation whereby sacrificing one means benefiting the other.and the best thing is both parties belong to the same family.

from wat i see,it just points down to being resistant to changes,not being able to adapt.besides,its just being more emotional than being logical and getting the big picture.it also boils down to the fact that we do things without thinking of consequences.i really find it hard to say all this in ur face ppl.1st i will sound like a bastard and 2nd,you'll just think that im selfish cos it'll benefit the guys team.yes...after much thoughts,i still tot it would be good if things remain the way it is right now.

the best thing of the day is wat came out from u ppl.supposingly matured ladies with years of playing experience."if IH is like that,then next year i dun wanna play liaoz".where's the passion for the sport?and it just makes me feel worse cos u're trying to use this as a threat to place someone in a difficult position.trust me,i did actually tot of wanting to just let them use the previous list instead of wat's happening now.cos if the change really affect u girls so much,stupidly,i tot that mayb we should just sacrifice thinking that we have already achieve our target for the year and exceeded expectations and anything else is just a bonus.BUT please...i cant bear to do it cos i know we guys have been training much more and we want it more than you girls want it for sure.the lack of mo qi is all ur own excuses and fault for not wanting to train and just wanting to play and win.if i were to do that to ensure that you girls win and jeopardise our chances of going further,its not going to be fair at all.

and frankly speaking,i believe you girls can still do it since you ppl played without SJ against 2 before and won.not that its going to be a sure win game but i just wan you girls to noe that we're confident with the team.Mo qi is not something that comes naturally,you girls need to train and if you dun bother to train,you cant blame anyone for that.

where...no matter wat,i hope we're learn from this incident and grow with wat's gonna happen.be more objective and not emotional!!!it doesn't help at all!arghx...im so damn frustrated now!

as the day passes...i realised im getting frustrated.frustrated wit things happening around me though some may or may not affect me at all.im getting less tolerant to ppl that keeps failing and i just find it damn sianz.i feel myself not being able to fit into the study environment now and finding tonnes of excuses for myself.well done...

trying hard to make everything look positive so that i'll be able to enjoy every single shit that im doing.there's still so many task on hand that i've put it on hold and so it better be good.haven been home for 3 weeks already and i doubt i'll be able to go back this week too.injuries here and there and it seems to be surfacing at this very moment.

*im glad u're back...but i just dun have time to discover wat i really wanna do!!!perhaps its the time factor.(im giving myself excuses again?)*

sometimes i really wonder if i should really care cos eventually,it seems that i dun even exist.maybe its because things aint as clear as it appears but then again im just like that.arghx...the focus now would be both vball and cheerleading.im enjoying every moment though its super duper shag and i seriously believe we can get it back this year with this routine.all i have to do is DONG and i'll nv let my triple W down as well as my mid tier!JIAYOU!

questions flying all over but i definitely didn't give any answers at all cos things might change aft awhile.i wonder if wat i heard is true and was wondering if anything will happen this time round.hahaha...its really amazing and magical!

i really wish i have more time now.lack of sleep makes me easily frustrated and that could explain some of my mood swings and attitude lately.just hafta hold on till 23rd when we get back that valuable GOLD!!!after which i'll make up for watever's missing or not done.and hopefully, our vball team will be able to make it to the finals this year.im confident and i believe in my team.we can and we WILL.

*dreaming of a true love kisss.....lalala...today just FEELS very different*

4th round of shit once again begins with the start of my 4th sem in NTU.haven been sleeping more than 5 hours a day and i do believe there are ppl that's even worse.i just feel abit frustrated and lost and cant concentrate at all during lectures.its like wasting time right there with no meaning!the best thing is i dun take afternoon naps and i'm beginning to feel the beauty of afternoon naps which i've been training very hard to zonk out this 2 days.tough tough cos i just cant sleep in the afternoon!!!arghx...

im just wondering if i would be stepping into a same pile of shit once again.however,this time round,do i really want it so much?i cant really figure out wat i'm thinking of right now but 1 thing for sure is that as usual,i dun wanna be lazing around most of the time slacking and doing nothing.but at the same time,i must learn to find some freee time for myself so that i can do things that i like...for a start,i've like signed up for the beach vball rekre thingy which happens every friday evening!!!hope it will be good...

timetable still not done yet due to maths 3.im going to be crazy to take 3 and 4 together.but i dun wanna waste time liaoz!i'm going to do well or at least maintain the GPA i have gotten this sem.its not gonna be easy i noe and the fact that im gonna make sure that you're getting wat you should be getting.its probably a way for me to help you to help me too.hope i wont be too dumb to ans ur questions too.hehe...i just pray for everything to come thru.hang in there and we'll pull thru it together.

*i seriously need to recompose myself and straighten out my tots and seek for wat i really really want...ACTION!!!*

sch's starting tml and i freaking haven enjoy myself at all!the best thing is,im not even home for this week man!omg...i cant believe it.

im disappointed with myself for not being able to perform up to expectations but then again,there's no point crying over wat have already happened.look forward and move on.

hope its been approved and i think it will be approved!please please please...im willing to spend more time to help if need be.

NACLI camp was gr8.we had our YEC workplan out during the camp itself and im excited abt the new changes and im wondering how dynamic we can get.the camp itself already proved alot and it seems that in this new term and new com,it definitely will be a special term for me.im looking forward to the repaying community goal that we have in mind.its gonna be so exciting.

gotta head for cheer training already!!!im tired still but its gonna be over REAL SOON!

feeling damn sianz rite now.its a damn bad start for the year.its not that i didn't try but i just feel that its getting too 1 WAY!!!tmd...you guys are suppose to be the elites GLs and every mother fucker is so dying to be one of the 32 and yet you guys dun take it seriously.NO ACCOUNTABILITY for urself= NO ACCOUNTABILITY for ur freshmen?how the hell are we suppose to trust that you ppl will take good care of the new freshies.i really dunno wat else i can do.i just noe i'll keep trying and keep failing.thx ppl...im so enlightened!!!perhaps...im so FUCK up that you guys dun even wanna give a damn but the thing is i feel that you guys are worse.arghx...

i haven really had the time for a 2007 self reflection thingy yet.but it'll come soon!hopefully i'll be able to last thru this week first.tough week ahead...basically,not going back home and starting sch soon!going for NACLI camp this weekend!!!hope i learn something new and the best thing is we're getting choy leng back as our trainer!i think she ROCKS MAN!!!cant wait...

time to go cheer...im tired but im not giving up!