Saturday, December 27, 2008
如果有那么一天，当我悄悄的离开这个世界，还会有人记得有我存在的那么一天吗？我但愿能在你的怀里留下深深的脚印。但一切都像是那么的遥远。跟断了线的风袗一样，漂否不定，迷失方向。想起来也真难受，我只希望能找回从前的那份发至内心得那份笑容，过着简单与快乐的日子。有那么难吗？
just some updates for the past few days.I've started my IA already.Its pretty cool and there really is ALOT to learn.Will upload pics on wat i'll have to do soon to give you a rough idea :)
A sad n lonely xmas eve and day was how i chose to celebrate it.i chose to sleep in and replenish the sleep debt im suffering than to head out though there's plans on the table.I just felt that i couldn't fit in anymore and i could still remember wat you said.but well,its all over.i really didn't believe i actually stayed in during that 2 days but well,its already over.I just sleep and sleep,came back to hall to finish up the gifts for the few special ones,the cheerleaders and JCRC.
i couldn't be bothered abt anything and totally everything.i didn't answer my calls or check my smses.Perhaps i was still grieving over the loss totally.TILL now,i couldn't believe we're OUT just like that.n though its not anybody's fault,i still tot i could have done something earlier which i didn't.DAMN...too late for regrets.
after starting IA for like a week already,im beginning to feel happier when im out of NTU compound.i feel happier at work though i shouldn't really feel that happy since you'll be given hell loads of work that seems like alien to me.oh well,its just a relative thingy as compared to being in sch.i just dunno why,it seems that the 'think too much' syndrome keeps coming back to me.arghx...
sometimes,i really wonder what certain ppl do and think really screws my mind.Though its none of my business,but i just wonder how come certain ppl can be so screwed up when it comes to this!perhaps i have been trying too much to idealise this kinda thing and therefore make myself feel so miserable...I just get it off my head when it affects ppl ard me and that's when i feel so totally like removin myself from their world.LIKE TOTALLY.
anywayz,我终于发现自己有多么渺小了。那种滋味不好受。不好受！不好受！！！
♥Oh, so vintage... 6:38 PM
Monday, December 22, 2008
we lost.it was such a pity that we didn't take advantage of the fixtures.I'm glad i took leave from work and i think i played well today,except for the serves that keep running into the net!when it was all over,i felt a sense of loss.Totally,i felt so like crying,n i dun even noe how to.i feel so disappointed and sorry for the team but i just dunno what else to say.i just wanna retreat into my own world and grief over our loss which didn't seem to come our way prior to the match.I couldn't figure out wat's wrong and that's why i feel even frustrated.
all we could do is...train harder and fight harder next year.and i hope the team will stay the way it is or even better...*PRAY*
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:13 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
try doing something which you dun believe in doing and you have no way out.i seriously cant believe it.this cant be happening!
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:26 PM
frustrations...
1. things not within my ctrl
2. loss of freedom
3. losing ppl ard
4. unable to process chain of thoughts
5. the feeling like before
6. last but not least the work load
this is total maddness before IA comes.i cant imagine how im gonna survive my IA!someone told me.MengHeng is strong and i totally dun agree...he WAS strong but not anymore.just hate this total loss of freedom.now i unds why i should give myself more free time,only learning this through the lack of freedom.DAMN....
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:42 AM
Sunday, December 07, 2008
你不是我们的。
enough said.that was enough 6 words that totally 'made' my day.and the best thing was it came out from your mouth!be it just saying in a fun way or whether u mean it,it totally hurts.first its was ur sis in law then its you.its really not funny...i guess it has come to a point in time i'll never be able to go back anymore.the feeling aint the same anymore and what u said really hurts.a decade of friendship and all i could say is,i'll forgive but i'll NEVER EVER FORGET.
on a lighter note,i've gotten my NEW TOY!!or 2 new toys.a toy camera and a DSLR as well.finally.and after visiting ruby fotos yesterday,im damn tempted to get the DIANE and other toy cameras as well...OH GOSH.
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:06 PM
Monday, December 01, 2008
have you ever ever felt so troubled over being loved?troubled over too much unwanted love?i really dun understand how it feels man.sometimes,we just dun cherish wat we wan and ask for more.wat is it exactly you wan?come to think of it,it was really quite stupid that i didn't cherish wat i used to have.really feels very sad,esp after watching such a sad story on dvd!hahaha...
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:20 AM
