Monday, April 30, 2007
like i've promised,here's some pics to go along with this post.anywayz,these pics were taken during the examination period and i really laughed my hearts out upon seeing something so childish happening in NTU!and mind you,the owner of the laundry hanger is a guy!!!
anywayz,i just find it damn amusing and childish lahz!to think that you're like at least 24 and you have this kind of thinking!omg...it really feels good to be young again but then,as time passes,i'm beginning to feel the difference.im getting old and there's alot situations which i've to take control of.responsibilities piling up and alot of things to take into considerations before making a decision.i can no longer be the old me that plays 24-7 and think of nothing but play only.im the only one that can control who and what i wanna be.i wanna be young again...
but then another part of me just keeps telling me to move on and face the challenges ahead.yes,i love challenges but i do hide away from challenges too.im not confident enough in most situations and sometimes im so soft.i really need to toughen up and live by the principle that i cant please everyone.and i shouldn't please everyone to make myself miserable...that's DUMB!!!im trying to change and i hope i can do it.i need more confidence!just alittle bit more...
a little update on today's sales.its pretty good.sold like over 10 pieces today.of course with the help of some other promoters too.this 2 days made mi realised that i'm very complacent already.especially when im not as actively engaging with customers and not learning about other cameras.the other promoters over there,most of them younger than me were damn knowledgable and they know almost everything.hahaha.i really slack alot and that's probably due to influence or rather the so call lao jiao syndrome.yes...when u're just out doing sales you'll probably be very enthu abt every customers and dun do filtering.but when u come to my stage,you begin to chose the customer u serve.differentiating the potential ones from the 'i-come-here-to-see' kinda customer.i shall be more enthu next time and shall work harder for the sake of money!i admire some of their attitude.haha.anywayz,sales not too bad but its more of those luck kinda thing.but still,im not very happy with the workplace.i feel very uncomfortable working there due to their management system and the attitude of ppl over there.its really tough to make a decision to go back there and suffer anot.but meanwhile,i'll probably just enjoy myself first.dun care abt any other things liaoz!time to get real serious...shall go sleep liaoz.tml will be going for my haircut.probably will be dying another round!see how things goes...
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:29 AM
Saturday, April 28, 2007
finally exams are over and im pretty dead as of now!chem was a killer for me.at first i thought and aimed for a B for chemistry but after going for the paper,im completely disheartened.for 1 moment,tears almost rolled down my cheeks man!but i held it there lahz!the paper was tough cos some of the simple concept questions were made difficult and i couldn't remember what i tried to memorise for the tougher questions.i just couldn't apply what i learnt and its really very disappointing.at the very moment they said stop writing and stuff,my heart sank deep deep loL!from the B that i aimed for,i turned realistic and pray super hard for a pass so that i dun have to dabao chemistry for next sem!i told myself i really did my very best with just 2 days to learn what i nv learnt at all.i was hoping that i end exams later so i have more time for chemistry revision.and as for now,what's done is done.so the best thing right now is to pray really hard that i dun dabao,find out what's really wrong with me this entire sem,rectify the problem and move on.once again,i fell hard and cut myself deep at this sem 2 exams!i would like to thank NTU COE for giving me this opportunity to feel this way since i've come to this world.thank you very much.
after exams went lunch with kenneth hazel and felix.then headed back to hall to pack up my stuff and clear some rubbish,sweep the floor.shiok...my room's getting cleaner and i have yet to mop it but im gonna do it next week.then went home alone.will be back hall next week for a couple of stuff.major events include vballers games and bbq week as well as my competition this coming thurs @ JW sports hall.it could jolly be the last match for the season.hope not...
got home for dinner and found out that mum wasn't around cos my granny's place caught fire and she had to go over to settle some stuff.im so glad granny's living with us now.if not,i really wouldn't noe wat's going to happen man!and so i just went out after my dinner w/o seeing my mum to meet julia at hereens to shop for my working attire.then met hazel to go over to cine to check out the show times but realised we couldn't make it for the late night shows and so we met kenneth and went over to nydc to eat again.i gave myself another good treat since i didn't really have a satisfying dinner just now.talk and talk and talk...then went late night shopping at wisma.after which hazel gave us a lift home.i had an experience of a lifetime.after exiting cairnhill carpark,hazel did a stun of the year.she drove against the traffic and a sports car came right in front of us.it was damn funny but we were lucky as both of them were not driving at high speed which could have been disastrous!!!but well,it was really very funny and we reversed all the way back to the carpark and drove off again.can tell that hazel was quite scare after that cos she drove quite slowly and signal which executing every single moves.but well,thanks for the ride home.im glad we made it back safely!haha.next time then we catch that gross movie lahz!
im going to work in another few hours time.i feel that im super no life can!im working while the rest are enjoying themselves right aft exams.arghx.when should i do this to myself?and im shocked when my uncle called mi.he was like trying to sound mi out if i have anything to do during the holidays cos his probably planning to get mi to go over to his office to do some work and of course,i'll be paid lahz.though it would be much higher than going ard selling cameras,i would prefer to sell cameras for the simple reason its more interesting as the environment is more dynamic.you get to meet more ppl rather than going down to the office which is like 15mins from my place doing work facing floor plans,counting qty and helping out with quotations.worse,might even have to rough it out at construction sites with his team of baglahs to fix some lights here and there which i did during my break before entering army.and i seriously hate 8-5 work mon to sat!!!arghx...i still have a life hor!!!
anywayz,i just wanna thank those ppl that helped me thru this period of tough times!!!ppl like yings,ruyan,waisan,reina,qq,ailin,hazel,julia,cheryl,seok,siok wei,jocelyn,peipei,ah ling,ah han,kendra,lixian,RAIN,lina,ivy,charmain,cherryn and roomie,clarissa,jonas,both kenneth,eddy,jingshen,roomie,dex,zh,aik,yanlin,teh ping and more...you guys were great.gave mi word of encouragements,helping me with work,studying together,going through the shit together.once again,i appreciated every small little things that you guys have done!thanx alot.
there's actually alot of things on my mind now.but im getting tired and i needa rest!some blog somemore when i have time!!!anywayz,i have very stupid things to share!hahaha...so stay tune lahz!and please pray for me that sales will be great over at vivocity!hahaha...i hate it cos even before i earn anything,i;ve already spent 30 bucks on my working attire.damn sianz...*ciaoz*
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:48 AM
Friday, April 27, 2007
probably 8 hours to my next paper.feeling super scared now but i think i need the rest more than mugging right now.i really cant do my papers for nuts and i dun wanna bao my chem!!!arghx...i hate it cos i cant really do anything abt it right now.i seriously realised my mistake and i hope it will be fine.
some part of me tells mi i dun wan it to end so earli so i have more time to study and score better but the other part of me tells mi i need a rest which im not getting even after exams are over cos im going to work tml!!!arghx...but well,for the sake of money and probably eye candies over at vivo city!hahaha.haven been there for a long time and i seriously miss candy empire!!!i wan my GUMMIES!!!so sry i could join u guys for beach this sat but im just over the bridge only!come and look for me when u guys are done!!!hahaha...
i really need sometime to do some reflection man!im gonna find time just for that.seriously.i miss ECP blading sessions,sentosa beach vballing,taking my little bagpack trekking ard.i hope i'll have time for a short trip this holidays and i hope i can realli squeeze some time out.im already quite packed!arghx...shall go kun liaoz.please pray for me.i hope i dun have to walk out of the hall crying like a baby!
for those who haven finish ur exams.please cherish ur time and study for it.i would definitely love to have more time for my chem paper rite now.its something that i can no longer wish for.so yup...jiayou and stay determined yeah!it'll soon be over.gambatte yo!!!
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:31 AM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
woke up early in the morning and went started studying.received a call from mr ling @ 9 to inform me of the match which is happening at 1030am.oh well,luckily the game was held at jurong west indoor court.which is the new stadium just outside ntu and so i went down.
there were new additions to the team and 2 players were new.1 from the ntu team and another boy from amkss team.well,i saw the ntu guy before and he can play!!!hahaha.the team is definitely stronger than before and having a better setter means there will be better chances for spiking!!!hahaha.well,i feel damn bad in a sense cos i played for the entire 2 sets and this poor fella was there and didn't even get to play.anywayz,we played against ayer-rajah-west coast team.they're pretty good and there's a couple of beach players i met there!!!well,let's not talk abt the guys...there were girls there too.1 old and pretty official and i saw the cute referree assistant once again.there were 1 beach player i played with before whose also there as well as couple of unity sec girls playing for yew tee csc.of course,there were some other babes ard lahz.but well,the focus was still on the game man!!!hahaha...
we got trashed for the first set and we managed to get back some points for the sec set.though we lost,im happy cos firstly,we have a stronger team now.2nd,i did a "zhi xian sha qiu" and got a point for my team.wat's more is there were 2 blockers and i did wat im suppose to do and just scored.for one moment the court went silent!!!Hahaha...well,it doesn't seem that we're able to play that kinda balls man!on top of that,i did managed to do some blocking and well,i think i suck at blocking but the good thing is i managed to at least touched the ball which mean i can get to the height to block.all i need now is more training.but well,i kinda pulled my left ankle again!luckily its a minor one!probably i also twisted my toe abit and it kinda hurts rite now.arghx....
gotta go mug for my paper liaoz.next game will be against chong pang csc.next thurs!!!jiayou oh ppl...we can do it!
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:23 PM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
gosh...i've been pretty distracted by her this couple of days cos she's part of my screensaver!when i concentrate studying and not touch the comp,the screensaver will just pop up and i'll be distracted.but then,it i dun wanna get distracted by her,i've to continue to use the com!ahaha.but then again,though i can do other stuff to prevent my eyes from sticking onto the screen,i shouldn't just do that.*mesmerised*hahaha.i cant wait to see superman 3 and the beautiful story.
some of my frens falling ill at this moment.please hang on tight.it'll be over soon and we'll probably not see one another for a couple of mths!!!physics 2 is killing mi.dun think its easy cos its something we've learn before.for the simple reason that everything u learn in jc for 2 years as well as alot of extra stuff that we have to learn is being compressed into a short semester!and to think that we have a couple of such modules to handle.LIFE's sad rite here rite now!but then again,im fortunate...at least i have my frens with me.
*off to mug again*
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:38 PM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
well...i've gotta face this all alone.i saw that coming and i don't blame it on you.all i hope is that you do well for it and have no regrets.jiayou...
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:36 PM
yay~i've finally stepped into my own territory once again since 2 weeks ago!anywayz,thx for the free ride back home...(roomie).went to amk hub to buy some snacks for my 3 little ones at home as well as get some 4 seasons durian puff for my mum!when i reached home,i saw my granny.then i learnt that she's been staying here for awhile liaoz.im glad mum managed to find a way to settle the prob.mum wasn't ard and i spoke to my granny.its really sad that she cant remember who i m right now and she keep telling mi depressing stuff.i really dunno how to respond to it man.seriously.deep down,i really feel very sad and i believe the only thing i can do is to talk to her and keep her occupy than to let her mind wander off aimlessly.
i was lucky.dad called home and spoke to me on the phone.told him about my decision on skipping the computing exam and my plans to go for GIP.though he dun really understand what im talking about,im really glad he didn't show any objections regarding my decision.he only told mi that i have to find my way to get myself overseas for the exchange if i want to go for it.well.i noe wat im doing and im sure that i'll be able to find my way.
well,im beginning to feel tired the moment i get home man.oh gosh.i think i better go back to sch tml earli to start studying lol.feel like sleeping liaoz.and as for effective com exam today.well,i dun think i'll be able to get a A- liaoz.probably get a B min or B+ hopefully.anything more will be a bonus.just have to pray real hard man!now i've got last 2 papers to pia.i cant wait.
last nite went over to sac for supper with kenneth tan!was studying there till my supper came and rain stopped over too.she was telling mi that she dun like veggies and i have to noe that.then stuff like usually she dun make honey water and stuff in the morning one and she find it hard to wake up early in the morning.hahaha.well,its more of like giving mi a signal to ask mi to let her sleep longer and wake up earlier to make honey water for the freshie.hahaha...damn funny lahz!then i accompanied her to LWN to check out her bike rally posters then dropped by tut rm 3 to say hi to alex and a couple of her frens.then we were crapping on her car back hall and she told mi a no of stuff which includes the amazing feat that taijie did.he missed his paper yesterday and this sem is suppose to be his last semester!!!well,poor taijie will be back to play IHG for us next sem loL!ahahah...then when we got back to hall,we went to zhenghong's room to help celebrate dex's bday!it was pretty fun lahz.alot of them were ard and co was forced by taijie to join in the 'celebration' which includes some water activities.taijie hijack rain's laptop and hid it somewhere.since its like so late and seeing that rain looks pretty tired,i secretly took the laptop out and passed it to her for her to get back to her room lolz!hahaha.well...nothing much happened after that.
saw kendra at can A today.well,thx for the concern lolz!she was so nice to send mi a msg asking mi to study hard and advising mi not to join too much activities.hahaha...well,i wont' for next sem.and when i came home today,my neighbour was like "hey ah boy...so long nv come home liao ahz...seldom see you around and stuff....blah blah blah...."hahaha...i was shocked when she suddenly stood out when she heard me approaching!hahahaha...well, i should stop all this and start mugging for physics liaoz.damn it...
♥Oh, so vintage... 8:22 PM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
taking a short break after having my supper provided by my co!!!and thx for the well wishes ehz!realli appreciate it alot!hopefully you'll earn more during this exams period!!!and to all you ppl out there from NTU!order supper from my CO!!!hahaha...
1 paper down and that's gotta be Maths 2.well,i think im better prepared for Maths 2 as compared to my Maths 1 last sem.but then again,after completing the paper,it seems that there's alot of things that i cant really do but i did managed to try and work out some stuff to gain those sympathy marks.well,with that i still aim for a A but i think will be more than happy to settle for a B.marketing paper later this evening and i seriously dunno if i can score well for it.well,as usual i aim for a A for this paper since i managed a A- for Biz finance last sem.my case analysis was great and i got an A for it but,my marketing project might just be a B only.pray hard he gave us a B+ so i still stand a high chance for A- at least.reading thru all the notes just make me feel more stupid cos i dun even noe what im studying for.oh gosh.just kill me please...
there's alot of things that need to be done and i haven get it done.please guide me through this period of tough times.and to all my friends that's feeling down or whatsoever,i hope you guys can recover fast and move on.seriously...no point crying overspilt milk.im just waiting for that one fine day...probably i'll just fall like you do.but well,as for now,be glad of what you have and make the best out of the situation yet.i've gotta make a trip back home this week!i hate it but i think i ought to go home to please my mum!and i cant believe my uncle actually came down today to my hall to pass me food and soup!!!omg.i really feel so blessed.but then again,its kinda his fault to get me into this shitty position which i so hate it.but well,like what everyone says:'its for your own good'.i hope i'll live till that day to accept this fact.
gotta get lost and shower liaoz...all the best ppl.cherish wat you have.
"The worst thing you can do for love is deny it;so when you find that special someone,don't let anyone do anything to get in your way!"
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:28 AM
Monday, April 16, 2007
i've decided that i shouldn't go for computing exams next week and get an mc for it.the simple reason that i'm not ready for it and i dun want it to sink my GPA.I need it for x-change!!!on top of that,i haven't really started on physics and chem which i think i should be able to score at least a B.but im aiming high for a A grade at least.it's so not me to run away from problems right now especially having to take MC to skip this exam.arghx.kind let myself down.but i did give it some serious thoughts before making this decision.1 main factor is that i didn't really put in the effort this sem for this very IMPt module.so i deserved to do it next sem again which means i will have to overload(i think).i guess my focus now have shifted towards the GPA shit which is damn shitty.who the hell came up with sucha lousy no integrity system.arghx.i feel so guilty!
anywayz,i think my body clock is damn screwed.im beginning to be more alert later in the night and sleepy in the morning!oh god...please dun do this to me from tml onwards.i needa sleep early and wake up early and be at my best form in the afternoon!
i've finally covered maths briefly.its brief enough to get a pass grade i hope.but im praying for a B+ this time round.series and limits suck big time and i dun really understand.but i'll try my best tml to learn and memo as much as i can tml bah!as for marketing,i think i'm screwed.haven really absorb any shit in.managed to read thru 7 chapters and i still have 5 to go and my exams' on wed.and well,haven even tag my effective com book yet.nonetheless,i haven even read it too.all the printed materials not out yet.im so DEAD.y m i so slack this sem???arghx...feel like killing myself!!!wth is so damn wrong.im seriously very distracted and i dun even noe wat's drawing my attention away from studies.where's the focus and discipline?i really dunno.
all i know is i have damn alot of stuff to settle after exams.and i really wanna go home soon!i doubt i'll be playing for my CC if i still cant finish all the shit that i've piled up over this entire sem.please let it be over real soon!and i pray for you my fren...dun be too stress too.before we noe,everything will be history!arghx...i need more time!
♥Oh, so vintage... 1:31 AM
Saturday, April 14, 2007
just some random fotos of my nite study session.
watching southpark in the Seminar room man.and check out the mess...ahahah
thx for the no DABAO...i seriously hope i wont have to get fined!!!
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:26 AM
Friday, April 13, 2007
just finished my pathetic lunch (2 packets of mee goreng) in hall.well,staying over the weekend again.this time round i seriously wont be able to complete reading every single shit.seriously.im so dead!just pray hard and live with that belief that whatever i nv study wont come out bah!PRAY DAMN REAL HARD.
i think i really cant study for nuts.dunno why also!must work on it.and im realli surprised to receive a sms from my sis.she was like telling me mum miss mi and that kinda stuff which i dun really expect it at all.well,miss home too.but then i cant go home without getting my stuff done and well,i'll try my best to go home after exams but there's still damn alot of shit that i have to settle right after exams.somehow i kinda feel loved for 1 moment sia.but well,pls understand that im struggling right here and not really having a good time over here can.
arghx...feeling damn lonely in hall.study hard ppl.jiayou and we'll go have fun real soon!!!i do having some mugging nite pics.all the stress shit that we drew on the board.will upload it when i have the time!!!well,gotta go back to studying liao lahz.shall just stop here.
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:26 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
well,stress building up and i hope im not showing it man!but well,dun wry!i'll be fine!just stuck in the middle of no where deciding if i should give up computing this sem and do it next sem.its damn sian but i really dun wanna pull down my GPA.and this is why i say this GPA system suck big time.
anywayz,im tired!realli very very tired.RESILIENCE is the key now.and hopefully the placebo effect wont kick in until after exams.im in need of lotsa time and i need it almost immediately!surviving on little study and tonnes of information going into my brain.Hopefully they'll be stored in my brain rom than my brain RAM.arghx...i cant afford to switch off now but many times i just did!exams fear...arghx...and thx very much for all the concern man.i'll be fine!seriously!i'll grow stronger and tougher through these hard times and i definitely wont forget all of you that have been thru this together with me.
got back my case analysis results.was pretty good and i think i deserve it lahz!got an A for it with so much time spent on researching and editing.i really put in alot of effort in it.will this work for my exams with so little time left?i really dunno and i hope i'll be able to make it in time!seriously.i really wanna take my computing paper and score at least a B-.as for the rest,probably an average of B+ will be the target.i should be able to get it.i must work harder for it!REAL HARD.and now i better go get some sleep before i KO in effective com class tml!muhahahaha...
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:15 AM
Monday, April 09, 2007
well,i dun realli noe if im doing the right thing.probably im not.but well,spent the entire weekend over in sch!though i did study,it wasn't suppose to be a weekend that i can afford play soccer,celebrate birthdays and stuff but i did.wonderful.it was really a great sunday and i realli enjoyed myself and i hope u guys too.esp the 2 birthday kidos,lixian and eddy!!!
im sry if i disturbed ur sleep diana!but anywayz,thx for the concern yeah!hope to cya soon xiao long nuI!!!hahaha.after which,i got a msg from jonas and i flew all the way to hall 2 for soccer game man!played till 2 plus have lunch till 3 and flew back to my room only to do abit of maths.then went out with eddy chips kenneth and jonas @ billy bombers.dinner wasn't really spectacular but well,at least i kinda got loaded with tonnes of chicken today!!!hahaha...came back to hall for a short rest and went back over to hall 2 for the 'sabo' session after which came back to do abit of maths again.well,today was productive but not enough.i hope i do have enough time for the coming week.and i think i should stop playing from now!i needa study!!!more time.i think this will be the last nite that i can retired earli and pray hard i can tahan for next week.i shall stop here and visit zhou gong sooN!please pray for me...and i think i better get my A3 size black and white foto ready just in case...hahah
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:46 AM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
time check 3am.tonite is definitely 1 of the earliest that im going to sleep man!ever since 2 weeks ago.feeling the fatigue level building up.but as i watch myself striking off the boxes one by one off my calendar,exams are coming!!!DAMN FAST.and the rate im absorbing is way too slow.the only thing i can do now is read as much as i can and pray hard watever i studied will come out and live by that mentality that watever i din study wont come out! i pray hard man.all i wish for this sem is to at least maintain a 3.5 GPA so that i'll still be able to qualify for exchange program.i really wanna go for it and i realised i should have apply this sem for the next sem's program.but well,i didn't!!!oh gr8...and that means i will definitely have to forgo certain stuff before if i really wanna go in the next 2 years.arghx.
well,yesterday spent the nite studying with kenneth eddy and jonas.they're one gr8 bunch of idiots.entertaining one another like mad.we really study till we go crazy.even till the point whereby we were so bored and decided to play with the vending machines at S4.after which we begin to start modelling over at the benches while studying cos there were just too many mozzies flying and irritating us.well,thx to the zhenghong for helping mi get supper man!almost died without food!hahahaa.everything ended with me reaching hall @5 in the morning and zzzZzZZZZzz...
beginning to miss home but then i realli cant go back.i wan homecooked food and i wonder how's granny doing now man.everything settled?and boy...i seriously gotta concentrate on my studies now!i've nv been so stress before.thank you NTU engineering...and i seriously hate the entire system right now.its damn screwed up!arghx...i need more time now or i'll just die.
went for a jog just before this and dropped by SAC to visit ivy and evon.thx for offering the subway ivy but i dun think i can realli eat anymore!tummy showing and my fitness really went down lahz!!!jialat.i need to train my pullup real soon cos i wanna clear my IPPT for this year!i need to stop munching man!seriously stop munching.and hopefully after exams winston will really come and bug mi to go jogging with him and ah gong lolz!
i'm surprised at what's happening right now.its something which i dun think was very right.but then again,i blurt it out only to kenneth.besides im not the one that started all this shit.and the way i see it right now,it seems like you have the perception that im the source.omg...somehow i feel im mean and i din spread it around except for kenneth.well,u made mi realised how insensible i m cos i didn't even bothered to think of the big picture.im sorry if i really made life difficult for you man!sry man.but then again,i seriously din wan that to happen.i just think y im so stupid not to assess the situation and act according.arghx...deserved to get shot.hope everything will be over soon bah.i hope it won't affect our friendship man...seriously...
shall stop here so i have more time to sleep!hahaha...i realli need more time/at least a 3.5 for next sem.PLEASE...zzzZZZzZZZzzZzZzz
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:57 AM
Thursday, April 05, 2007
well...had a small talk with fang today.well,i seriously believe i'll execute my oscar winning move one of these days.at least i noe i did my best and whatever happens,at least i'll be able to turn back asap!thanks for the encouragement and i seriously realised we're in deep shit.so much things to do and no focus.distractions and stuff.how i wish im back in those days at CJ.just play and no worries.with my classmates being my only source of support as well as my odac mates.jacq ber burnz bel ning was always there.there's also edm and boon whose consistently barking at me.all my odac mates that's always there to push mi to study.right now in ntu,i feel so lost and confused.can't really differentiate whose my real frens and whose not.but well,at least i noe i'll always have jonas and kenneth there!ALways.thx alot man.i miss my classmates.seriously.the times i've spent there were the most enjoyable and peaceful.there wasn't any politics,no motives/ agenda.well,i also have to thank you peeps cos w/o u ppl,i wouldn't have been able to make it this far.seriously.though we rarely meet up nowadays,but well,u guys is already part of a very impt chp in my life story.life here in ntu ain't that great after all.it's really confusing!!!i hope you guys are having a great time else where and hope you guys are enjoying urself every moment.
fell asleep damn early this morning.like 5 plus am before waking up earli in the morning to head for my chem quiz @ 1030am!!!i tot im so dead but i was wrong.the paper was easy and i managed to score well.10/10.but im still not happy.seriously.nothing to be very happy abt for the simple reason that i think im still lagging behind.i need lotsa time and focus.i need ppl to constantly remind mi to study!who will be the one?will you?
planning stuff is really taking alot of my time.i'm gonna stop all this nonesense and stop getting involved in stuff that's damn not worth it.what's there to invest when there's no returns.and i dun like to hold on to things which i enjoy doing but giving others a hard time every now and then.its really mean and i'll make up for it after exams man!and that means no way to relax after exams!!!arghx.that's bad.
blasting my music and stoning away.waiting for supper and trying to focus.flying to nbs reading room to study and study.that's how im gonna spend my lonely weekend over in pulau NTU till the end of me.study hard ppl!!!im seriously very very tired...
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:36 PM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
things have been going on pretty smoothly lately.starting to pick up the study momentum but still kinda distracted in a sense.things happening here and there and im kinda losing the self composure soon.i must keep reminding myself that certain things need to be done and certain things shall just wait.anywayz, had a gr8 session with my co last nite together with aik!guess everything will turn out fine man!and im sure we'll be the best COs ever and i definitely will wan ya to have a gr8 SU14 to end off ur sports camp final year with a BLAST!and i believe we can do it together man!
today's suppose to be a pretty happy day but then again,it didn't turn out to be that way man!though i got my effective com results for my presentation and it was one of the better ones in class even without moderation yet!haha.i'm suppose to feel happy.but not until i heard facts flying all over.the immediate absorption spectrum was completely stretched!!!well,should have suspected and expected it.but just can't take it lahz!but well,what more can i do?there's nothing within my control for the simple reason that im not the controller.
i feel guilty towards my team for the simple reason that im not joining them for trainings and i'll be playing for them!really guilty!my fitness sux right now and i think my running timing quite cui liaoz!not doing wat im suppose to do.complacency and stuff.arghx.die...
if u ever think you're not being watched by others,think again.perhaps the best thing to do now is to be transparent bah!well,please take care of ur back my frens.you'll nv noe wat's going on.and well,dun ever mislead anybody!its a dangerous game to play.i've seen many such things happening around and things always go wrong.perhaps what started out was a very wrong move from the start.keep dreaming....
well,happy 21st rong rong!!!im glad you still remembered mi after all these years.bu kui shi one of my favourite vball juniors!well,hope you'll come over to hall 7 to play for us one before we graduate man!anywayz,that's provided im not moving out!to be truthful,im reconsidering my plans now.no body's influencing me right now.im still thinking for myself!is there a need for a change in environment.will i feel happier else where?wat do i stand to gain?will i enjoy myself?considering between 1 and 16.i dun wanna have any regrets for making my decision.i still have time.
well,if you seriously noe how i feel,i hope you won't mislead me cos i really dun wanna get hurt over and over again.i may appear strong,but you'll nv noe wat's wrong with mi!this applies to every single one out there.i hate people who lie to me and i hope everything can be as transparent as it can get.well,whether you're comfortable with that will have to be dependant on how well you valuable our relationship lolz.how much value you put into it.im really very tired liaoz...very very very tired.but then,i still tell myself its worth it.to put a smile on ur face is the greatest reward i can ever get right now.thanks my frens.SMILE!!!
♥Oh, so vintage... 8:14 PM
Monday, April 02, 2007
arghx...i hate it!super duper hate it.Granny's still in hospital!and i dun understand wat the fuck the rest are thinking about man!trying to shift responsibility of whose gonna take care of her and stuff.i really dun understand why they're treating my granny in this manner.she's old and cant really remember alot of things.sometimes she cant even recognise me but i dun blame her.now that dad's overseas and wont be back for quite awhile,granny's problem and i think my mum cant hold on for long.esp when we actually took in my uncle's 3 children when he abandoned them.i noe mum wants to take care of granny but there's just no more space for a additonal helper as well as granny.and to think that granny's son and daughter ain't doing any SHIT!screw them...trying to shift responsibility to every other person.and my mum isn't granny's daughter in the first place.watching mum trying very hard to find solutions to this problem makes mi feel even worse cos i cant do anything to help.arghx...feel so helpless now!now,the main priority is that granny recover fast and get out of hospital first.other things will see how things go bah!i really cant take it liao lah.what should i do.there's so much i wanna do but i cant and dun have the ability to do it while others dun cherish wat they can do and dun even bothered to offer that little bit of help there.
well,din really study alot today but i think my momentum is picking up!im beginning to enjoy readin my notes though readin ain't enough.but then again,i dun have all the time in the world to do tutorials again!so i gotta pray hard i can spot every single shit!im feeling the fear already!seriously.i really cant imagine what will happen to me if i have to dabao this time round.arghx.just cant get that thought out of my mind.and thx for those concern jonas.well,felt so much better after telling u some of the 'mean' stuff i did.hopefully things will just change for the better.
yeah,co...dun wry,i'm always on ur side lah!no matter wat happens,its RAIN or NV!!!dun pangseh me hor.best COs ever.hope u get wat u want man!and all the best for ur supper business!i'll be ur first customer tonite!!!hahaha...
im glad im finally done with the case analysis.all ready to hand in.i need alot of sleep now.for the simple reason that i only have an avg 4 hrs of sleep since last sun!im DYING.can i just die and sleep all i wan???
♥Oh, so vintage... 1:55 AM
