Monday, April 27, 2009
im feeling quite frustrated and down lately.most of the frustration comes from work. Esp when you feel like u're doing a no brainer job whereby any banglah can do?i dunno how things evolved from the stage whereby you have so much to do to the stage whereby u have to look for no brainer things to do to keep yourself busy over such a short span of time man!REALLY FRUSTRATING.its even more frustrating when you feel so much like giving your all but end up being discredited.not like im very interested in getting the credits but all i want is not to be look upon as not doing anything or not doing good enough.i just cannot take it lying when it seems like im the slacking one when i'm like doing quite alot which no one's knowing!i really cannot bring myself to slack my time away just hanging around just to show face.i need physical work to keep me occupied.arghx...can i just finish my IA on 7th JUNE now?seriousLY?i would rather go back to selling cameras on the weekend than sitting inside the office doing so much documentations and end up being looked upon as a slacker.it really hurts.
cheer trainings have been good and im kinda addicted to training!its not only pure trainings and i like to hang out with them.within the short span of 1 mth, i've like joined them for a couple of things already!things like Mos-burger, Macdonalds and sushi chill out after training sessions,as well as Jy's bday bash and heading to JY's place for WII!!i'm loving it.hopefully things keep it this way.now im eager to go taiwan even more!HAHAH.
been doing cheer training and my regular runs.it has come to a point whereby im getting worried about xphysique and atc already.i did my runs as usual and as i run,i realised there's this sharp pain in the knee cap as well as my ankle.and the best thing is its my RIGHT leg.omg...im dun wanna pull out of anything and im sure i'll do all i can despite the pain to push myself to finish the race.BUt then,the worry now is that i hope i wont be the weakest link to slow down the team!arghx...please please dun let anything happen to my legs!
*Final week in 7 -It's been fun and great pleasure knowing all of you*
This sentence keeps looping in my mind.As much as i hope my final week in 7 to come soon, there's also a small part in me that doesn't really wanna leave. all i wish for is that for whoever that stays to continue to give their fullest support and enthusiam for the hall.no matter what happens,i'll nv forget the beautiful memories hall 7 have given me. and you cannot believe that im starting my shoot on the best of hall 7.hehehe...im looking forward to the end products and enjoying the shooting process.
*please give me work that's more meaningful PLEASE*
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:49 PM
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
last week was a pretty good week.all in all,a beautiful week with training on fri and sat(Special thanks to BB,YQ and Pam).I'm really very very very impressed with their commitment to the team and their willingness to impart their skills to others.and i guess w/o them,sat would have been another boring nite for that week.i do like the chill sessions after training too.talking to them and finding out more about one another.was really great and i seriously find them quite a interesting bunch of ppl!
Prior to heading down for training on sat was sanjie's wedding!it was at rochester park and the venue was a pretty cosy bistro which sells tapas and wine.i felt that the place was pretty cool and perhaps could just head down and chill with some frens one of these days.
sun was a beautiful day too.woke up earli in the morning for a jog to lower pierce reservoir to catch the sunrise.a long and mistimed jog and i could go all the way in to find the best spot to capture the sunrise.But it was a nice long jog to the reservoir and a long long walk around the reservoir to my fav prata place!well...the curry is still pretty good while the standard of the prata seems to be abit on the downside now. :( but well,having 3 different pratas was like undoing all the work done in the morning tryin to jog there.
however,things changed this very week.im very disappointed at work and im beginning to dread going for work.its very tough to act busy when there's nothing for you to act busy with.and i just hate slacking down there nothing to do.i even asked for things that im not suppose to do to kill time lehz!all i can do is look forward to training and more training!
i missed vball trainings,matches and those times we spent having fun together as a team.Now that things changed and it ain't the same again as before,i really feel very disappointed and sad. Will i ever ever gonna find back this kinda feeling back again?all i just want you guys to know is that i'm still proud of our team and achievements back then.all i could wish for was that such changes were not implemented such that we ended up this way.n after watching the intra con competition,i seriously feel that we can play good vball.we should come together and train again!like SERIOUSLY!i really feel like playing competitive vball again.
i still have 2 mths before flying off to taiwan.and i need to get my TOSS TO HANDS asap!the problem with me is I'm SLOW!!!arghx..very frustrating!i wanna LEVEL UP!i need to train more and i need to get stronger.anw,the pain is back again.i hope its nothing too serious.i cannot afford to get injure now and i have responsibilities for the team.besides SKM, i cant let my ATC and X-physique team down.please please dun let it be something too serious!
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:51 AM
Saturday, April 18, 2009
| What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be. |
| Commitment | |
| Where Your life is Going | |
| Looked down on | |
| Being Alone | |
| Losing Someone | |
| Death | |
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear?
http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz |
♥Oh, so vintage... 1:58 PM
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
*frustrated*
im very disappointed and upset at this moment as well. firstly, im very sian being bounded to the desk with all the autocad and documentations. Yes, i need to brush up my autocad skills but all the documentations is skinning me alive. i cant simply find something out of nothing to do and escape from my desk, away from the pile of shit.
barry showed me the mail which jenns sent. it wasn't good and really reflects very badly. i feel very guilty with some of the comments but i really don't how well we could have done it. certain things ain't within my control and i seriously hate the fact that it seems like im on no man's land.perhaps you've given too much trust and confidence in us that you dun even check through.not that im blaming you...but after wat i saw.im really affected and it really set me into thinking.i've this strong urge to tell you that i wanna leave the day the official IA period is over. for the simple reason that i've nothing to pass down to the next 2 that's coming in and i guess AH and KC will be enough to do a good job of passing over esp when i have nothing on hand except those small peanuts which can be cleared before the next batch comes.i'm sorry and i should say im partly responsible for this.i just hope everything ends quickly for the simple fact that even if you dun blame me,i'll put the blame on me!!! let me go please...
arghx...no matter wat.i'll tahan as long as i can.
hmm...its time to build up my stamina once again!x-phy and atc coming real soon!thing to build up my physical as well. esp when i have 3 weeks of competition back to back! x phy then SKM then ATC.and probably the week before Xphy i might have the inter CSC vball comp as well!oh god...GIVE ME STRENGTH!
as time passes, i realised i have not much time left to embark on my project.i need to start soon before ppl start clearing out from hall which is happening already. i would say this is my last chance to capture as many memories as i can before i leave next sem.i just hope to retire in peace and i hope that'll just happen!!!
*where is my sunshine hey?*i'm missing...
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:42 PM
Monday, April 13, 2009
POWER STRUGGLE!!!IS THERE A NEED???
what on earth is going on with people's mind?do we really have to hurt someone before we realised that it wasn't worth it in the first place?i seriously dun unds why is there a need to fight for power when it will come at the expense of people you care.just hope everything cools off asap with no minimum bloodshed.
Apparently,im beginning to like this lifestyle of doing whatever i want. no more standard routines except for going to work everyday. No more hitting the beach on a sat just to play vball.and it hits me that though it was quite weird for me to just hit the beach and nua the day away,it was really REALLY RELAXING!and i seriously think i should make good use of my camera now!every outing is a shooting opportunity!im very motivated NOW!like seriously...
bad feelings aside.i managed a 15:20 for 179 route today!hmmm...i wonder if its slow cos i seriously have really been running but i think i could have go even faster.now it more of me and myself and i seriously hope i can train up enough to go for IPPT before heading to taiwan!and i seriously need to level up!im very very very weak!!!very disappointing lah but then,as usual,i dun have that kind of ego to go to gym de!so i shall just train as hard as i can during training baH!
share a few photos i took with my P&S camera.just a pity i didnt bring my baby out!!!gosh...*all taken without tripod!!!
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:41 PM
Saturday, April 11, 2009
*Tell me, and i will forget. Show me, and i may remember.Involve me, and i understand"
Sounds pretty true huh?but somehow, certain things i'll just never be able to forget. Esp what AH told me, it really affected me for awhile.As time goes, i really cannot find myself going back there anymore. Its not good enough and i believe there's a greenier pasture out there!!!I'm looking forward to school to start once again.That will be the time i'll become mr MUGGER!
pray hard that i'll get to retire in comfort and peace and i cant wait for hall application results to come quickly!i really hope i make it for 1st round application man!
A long weekend is wat everyone that's looking out for when u're out at work.But this long weekend doesn't really seem to fun. For the simple reason, i spent GOOD FRIDAY on my IA report for almost the whole day. THe other thing is, no one is free and in the right situation to go out and have fun during this examination period!so its more or less a wasted long weekend. arghx...i probably just sleep more and eat more during this weekend!shiokness...
will update again.need to get some rest already!
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:33 AM
Sunday, April 05, 2009
im really amazed and i like it.it's like opening up doors to a brand new world.seeing and knowing how others feel.getting different perspectives and widening my view.thank you very much.
this weekend wasn't really good.going home proves to be something very wrong.suddenly i just felt like shit and i really dun like it. im feeling miserable cause i started to make comparisons.but then again, who doesn't compare? and i seriously think i didn't make an unfair comparison which make me feel more miserable. is that the kind of life i'll wan my children to have in the future?what kinda parents do you wanna be?arghx...
during this IA period,it really got me into thinking about what i really wanna do when i graduate. When i came into NTU,i told myself i wouldn't wanna go into the engineering field. But after having such a fruitful experience, everything's possible! i'm worried about how fast i can clear my debts after i graduate,im concerned about what kinda job i should apply for?Should i go for Keppel's scholarship or should i go for a MNC oil rig company?or should i go into other fields beside marine and offshore?there so many questions and i secretly pray for a inner voice to tell me where i should go.on top of that,i also secretly pray that i'll meet HER.hehe...
3 more days to application deadline...as the day draws nearer, i feel more certain that i'm ready to go. the sense of loss doesn't seem so significant anymore and i hope that i'll be able to start anew else where. i need to be more discipline and optimistic!i'm trying...i can and i will.
*LIFE'S TOUGH.I'M TOUGHER!!!*
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:27 PM
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
emo u calll it.but then...i really felt something just now!i guess i just have to stick with my decision!there's time when you have to move on and its just that this time round, its abit earlier for me.
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:05 AM
