Sunday, May 31, 2009
seriously couldn't sleep man!i wonder wat's wrong.it seems like something's bothering u at the back of ur mind.i really wish i could share ur burden with you and i hope you'll feel better soon.
on the other hand,SKM cheerfest FINALS is TODAY!i seriously believe we can be the champions if we hit everything today.i really hope that we can all do that and it would be a great memory for the team irregardless of what's gonna happened after this.im beginning to love this team even more.i feel really really touch when i receive team msges.i feel that this team have so much more inner strength!there's so many ppl everywhere watching us and helping us.Showing support in so many different ways which defines us from the others.thank you to all.
thank you for giving me such wonderful memories which i've never ever felt so good cheering before.it beats being champions and i like this.Though we've been thru rough patches but its all these little things along our journey to help us to love one another,to treasure one another even more and grow together as a team.last but not least,i just wanna say i love you guys!!!keep it going DENVERS.
♥Oh, so vintage... 4:50 AM
Thursday, May 28, 2009
when u think u know,you actually don't! all the time,i like to know everything.Even to the extent of promising that i wont be angry or have negative thoughts should anyone say anything bad, i still bear negative thoughts within! i admitted it but i feel worse when anyone tells me anything with breaks!its like so OMG.i just want the truth though the truth hurts most of the time.
Its all these small little things that help to build the internal you.so just give me the truth even if it hurts. i rather feel the pain now(earlier) than to experience GREATER pain later!omg...
u must control ur feelings and not affect anyone!remember this!...yeah.nag enough already.u wouldn't believe when i blogged all these.ask me if interested!hehehe...
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:15 PM
today was a total reenactment of wat happened afew mths back!Y THE FUCK DID U ALLOW THE FLYER TO TOUCH THE FUCKING GROUND!i totally saw myself standing back into the shoes of shunyong!LIKE TOTALLY.i felt so fucking useless at that time and it was all too late.it was so heartbreaking to see her down on the floor!it brought me to think that if ever im really ready to learn to do proper,safe cheerleading. Isit it complacency that brought abt this?perhaps...i've never let my flyers down on the floor before.HOW THE FUCK can i just do it this time round?arghx...totally hate myself!all i can do is blame no one but myself.Have u freaking forgotten that the top flyer is my top prioritY!arghx arghx arghx...ARE U READY TO GO ON FROM HERE?ARE YOU FREAKING SURE?
best thing is...i freaking pull my muscle during a toe touch today!DAMN IT...and i seriously hope it wont affect the com this sat and sun as well as dun bring me trouble for the retiring adventure race.Its not gonna be easy and i know it esp after running x physique.i think my physical is really going down already!U're no longer at ur peak MAN!
love the worse in me to get the best out of me.i totally agree with this.but then again,m i doing it?i really dunno and im seriously lost!i've so many things to juggle that i like to complain alot nowadays.Yes,im not the only one that's busy but i just need to complain.arghx...and sometimes, listening to these kinda nonesense actually made me question myself if these kinda guys are really on earth right now?really nonesense.but when its my turn,will i be like them?OMG....i cannot imagine.but i would insist that i wont be standing in their shoes at all cos its freaking disgusting and really show how weak u r!like SERIOUSLY!
im beginning to question myself if i should do this.haizz...i really dunno!i dun even noe where im standing right now!its like a ship out in the open sea without a lighthouse!it sucks.like totally.
♥Oh, so vintage... 2:50 AM
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
IA report down, ASMI scholarship down. Just when i tot im just left with the bursary application and that MPA grant thingy, THE FYP registration must come right now!OMG...can you ppl stop being so kiasu?and i hate the feeling when ppl come to you when they need ur help.EXAMPLE: MH,do you have the FYP prof CONDEMN list?can send me?...i'm like OMG!u only look for me just for this?this is damn sads.i hate it seriously.and all thanks to the new system that we can approach the prof and cHOp them if they decide to choose you!its barely 2 days since we can view the project titles and like 1/2 mth before we can reg for our FYP projects and now,some prof have already taken their students! OH PLEASE...
today's training wasn't really effective.im quite disappointed.firstly becos there's no full attendance.it really feels very sianz!its 4days to competition and yet ppl can come up with reasons not to come despite not having enough full runs!i think our idea is very creative but the thing is that we need to all stunts UP to pull through it!i seriously hope these ppl wake up their idea!i seriously hope we can have a great ending to this and hopefully another bonus memory in my cheerleading journey!
it's the 2nd time in my life witnessing someone faint directly in front of me!really shocked and worried at the same time.please please take good care and dun be a GUNHO hero already yea!dun ever ever think that u have control over things that you dun have control of.its dangerous!!!take care,rest well and feel good soon yeah :D
have you ever wonder,what would you do if you know you're going to die the very next day?i just tot of that today and i couldn't really answer myself realistically.There's so much i wanna do that i cannot fit them in!shall update again when i find my own realistic answer!hehehe :D
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:20 AM
Monday, May 25, 2009
kinda feeling very confused at the moment.i really dunno wat i'm doing!like very seriously.the emo level is building up however,i must prevent myself from unleashing it and affecting others. its been a pretty bad week already and i seriously hope that i dun have to get any more shit to become super duper sian!
i hope im not misleaded like totally.i hope i can know u even better!sometimes i really wonder if its really gonna work.however, at this very moment,i just wish that we all enjoy ourselves!i hope im not over sensitive to give myself false hopes! MH!u must not give urself too many false hopes...like SERIOUSLY!and of course,u must not give up on urself!u should be fair to yourself!most importantly, you must remember that you must remain objective and that all you're going to go through is no longer childish games that many plays in the past.u've gotta wake up and work on it.
at this moment,i have trust in u and i hope i wont be wrong. show me the light yeaH?i just hope that no one lifts me high up to let me fall even higher.Please don't!
xphysique was over and our team managed a 3rd position this year.the goodie bags were pretty impressive but the prizes for winning 3rd was pretty much lousier.it seems like more money have been put into the event itself.totally disappointed!very...
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:48 PM
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
oh boy,im finally sick!and it surely came at the 'right' time.trainings stepping up and x physique being this sunday.it really sucks to fall sick now!arghx...
perhaps i've been putting too much pressure on myself.i think i should just chill pill abit!i'll just do my best for x physique this sun!i shouldn't care abt the results and just have fun and run the shit out of the entire race like i nv tried before.
on the other hand,im happy to say i've managed my first QB lib!!!shiokness...its still shaky but then i'm sure it will be fine sooN!so looking forward to training later!i must try my best to achieve more during this 1 mth challenge.
ytd was down for training but totally no mood and no energy to train lahz!and stupidly,i rushed home just to go for a long long long jog which i dunno why i only came back at 1am!sick still run and that's y u deserve to die!thinking that it could just get better,NO it didn't. n i could feel it coming back to me all over again.i hate this feeling.seriously and i hope it wont affect my performance.
i hope you'll feel better!i dun wan you to be unhappY!totally not you and i cannot picture that!and of course i dun wan to.cheers and train hard...together we'll achieve more =D
i dunno how long i'll still be ard.but for as long as i can.i wanna have fun and be happY!just a simple simple wish!
♥Oh, so vintage... 4:15 PM
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Finally, i managed to do my cupid lib with pam!i'm happy cos the target given by YQ was a mth from sat's training!i should feel elated but somehow,it wasn't really the case. i'm disappointed with how ppl can come so late and dun feel anything abt it.its really frustrating and i hate ppl to be late. im fine if its like half an hour or so!but oh please...nothing more than that!that's like wasting precious training time or even others' personal time.that seriously shouldn't be the way and im beginning to feel irritated waitin for ppl to come and start training!
as for now i need to work harder on perfecting straight lib.should tone down abit on PS and concentrate on the performance and SKM first.
i like this feeling.its really you against yourself!its time to progress and i need to work on it.im tired from all the fatigue plus prawning last nite.its really becoming my sec addiction.REALLI.shall upload the mini prawning outing session on fri nite man!
i'm lovin it
♥Oh, so vintage... 8:10 PM
Saturday, May 16, 2009
omfg...wat happened to the feeling?why m i not doing it right anymore?i wan falls no more!i wan safety!i need to break this obstacle in order to move further.Stick with techniques and im gonna be safe.it better be...no stress.its only u against yourself and nobody else.u know it yourself.
to a certain extent.things ain't as simple as it seems.call me paranoid or wat not.but im beginning to have 2nd thoughts, 3rd or even 4th thoughts abt this.What do i really want and how am i suppose to achieve it?
arghx...show me the light please!!!
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:53 AM
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
its like living in a dream.A happy dream where i feel so lost at the same time. desperate need to get real and will my dreams come true?idk!!!like seriously.im lovin it!seriously hope things will not be like before. i do have a good feel on this!:D
thank god its gonna end which also means its another start.oh please...let me be free!
*zoNK out*
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:59 AM
Sunday, May 10, 2009
its been a great week.been trying and training as much as i can last week and all i can say is that im happy!i can feel that im improving but then its just not enough.im enjoying every moment unlike before.i really appreciate all the help given by you ppl.be it advice or making training fun and bearable plus all the chilling sessions.thank you so much.i'm also excited yet kinda lost for the upcoming SKM com.time is running out and i really dun see the entire routine yet.i noe we all wanna win but its not exactly working right now given that we're not training hard enough.i really hope to see ppl coming for training and working hard on it.i guess its time to put the team interest on top of personal interest at this moment in time.yes,i wanna improve on PS but i also wanna win SKM.hehehe...shall now focus more of SKM first and train for PS outside of normal training bah.Jiayou ppl...stay focus!!!
on a side note,i realised that as i know u longer,i see the worse in you.i didn't expect that and i really dun wish to create any unhappiness.but i really dun unds what the hell you're thinking and i dun wanna noe.all i hope is not for ego to get over you!seriously.its disgusting...like totally.u must also unds that by doing so you're not only affecting urself but others ard you.arghx...
lately,im wondering if im getting old or what.some how i just felt like quite a no of ppl around me doesn't really make sense. Do i have a weird mentality or are they just plain childish and cannot rationalise and be objective?take HAS meeting alone,im quite surprised by how certain groups were fighting for certain ppl. yes,we all do have different concerns,but certain ways of handling the current situation just appears to me that certain people ain't objective enough. HELLO,we only have 20 slots for that list and we're definitely looking for ppl that can contribute/contributed the most?yes, there's ppl like me that's leaving despite having contributed.i agree with this and i totally agree but then, have they seriously tot of what's the root of all problem?times changed and we cant handle how things were handled like before.Mentality changes and there's time for ppl to get selfish.all that's impt is that the interset of our hall is our top priority.somehow,i just feel that we're lacking the homely feeling amidst our struggle to climb up the ladder.but not matter wat,im proud to say that im from hall 7 and it will always be with me no matter wat.
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:19 AM
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
aint a great start for the day.deep down within,my heart is feeling heavy,very dull.
all i can say is, do unto others as you would like others do unto you. dun be an arse and stop ppl from moving further when u dun have the ability to do it. u know how it feels and you wouldn't wanna feel that way too right? arghx...its just a not so good day.period.
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:41 AM
Saturday, May 02, 2009
i realised that as age catches up with me, i being to self reflect more often and think of issues which have never crossed my mind before. its like opening up to a totally different world and somehow, i like it. Some people call it emo,some people just brush it off with "Hey,u think too much" but somehow,all these little issues which u self reflect upon makes u grow even stronger than before.
Dun be sore with what others have and you dont. you want it,you earn it. Dun give yourself 101 excuses that because his rich,he can do this....blah blah blah.Use this time to think how you can work your way up to achieve what you want.Finding excuses is just a waste of time!wat i believe most is still Mr Lim's WIN SOME,LOSE SOME theory!come to think of it,back in those days,those theories that he came up with ain't really that crap after alL!
as for now, stop being sore and work on whatever you have.Give your best and have no regrets and dun be sore that why ppl have this and have that while you dont for i have more to offer than what i dun seem to be.
♥Oh, so vintage... 12:14 AM
