Thursday, November 20, 2008
oh gosh...finally finished another paper.it wasn't too tough this time round.but that's the bad thing.cos everyone seems to find it easY!SHIT!anywayz,wat's impt now is that im slacking at home.alot of things have been running through my head for the past few days.things other than studying.
i realised that i'm very useful to certain extend.be it in a good or bad way.it seems that im only in demand when ppl need my help and when there's not AOB, ppl just chuck you aside.thanks for consulting me and giving me my sense of usefulness and no thanks for just chucking me aside when im not needed.that's the harsh reality of life.but i just wan you to noe that there's a limit how much and how far i can go all out to help you.you've gotta fall and learn on your own too...there's no way one will be able to shelter you from the external environment always.learn to fall and pick up quickly.that's my only advice.anywayz,why im thinking this way?mayb im just too sensitive or mayb its just conincidence.only you ppl can answer this for me.
just looking back at wat i've done for the past sem,i realised alot of things which i've failed terribly!the most impt thing is i've lost my happy go lucky kinda mentality.like seriously!my self discipline is getting from bad to worse and wat happened to the resilience and determination which we used to pride ourselves with?what have happened to the FM SPEEDONK spirit?have i thrown everything i learn away?i really wonder.i feel like the devils in me have slowly overwhelm the angels in me.i feel like i have no more control over wat i really wan and this is bad.and from this moment on...i must try and revive my old self.i wanna enjoy wat im doing and just bump ard.i need to get more focused.i need my self discipline.i must and i will achieve all this.
sidetrack abit...yes...i've gotten over you.seriously.even though when nothing happened in the first place,it was already bad enough for me.i really hate wat i see and i dare say im sore!but then,i just dun wanna hang on like an idiot anymore.and becos of these, i have to thank you that i've come to realised who are my true frens whose always there for me.cheering me up and pushing me on.i thank you for that...seriously.but all i wanna say is i still DUN LIKE HIS FACE!really feel like PUNCHING HIM!hahaha...*alright.im sore*but so WHAT?hehehe...
oh gosh i cant believe i blogged this.by well,im feeeling so much better now!hhehehe...and thanks alot my SUNSHINE,Queen as well as my fav girls.u girls rock my world !!!thanks alot.
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:59 PM
