Oh, so vintage?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

urgent need to unwind!to sort out the unsettled mind!to get out of the crazy world!

♥Oh, so vintage... 7:59 PM

whirlwind of thoughts right now!

Happy yet sad. idk how to explain.

♥Oh, so vintage... 4:53 PM

oh gosh...im feeling damn bad right now!seriously DAMN BAD.

i hate to be involved in politics and that's the main reason why i wouldn't wanna be involved in anything.That's the reason why i always chose to take the backseat and be termed as slack.i still wanna maintain my r/s well and make my world a better place,the ideal world.

its not that i wanna walk out on the family.its not easy to and i dun feel good as well,its just that i dun feel ready to even commit.i dun wanna give false hopes.i dun wanna walk out when things get more complicated.i dun wanna reach a point whereby i cant even make a U-turn when i have too.by then,it will be too late.

Labels: dilemma, heartless creature

♥Oh, so vintage... 5:05 AM

im secretly hoping that i'll still be able to carry on with wat i wanna do on sunday!seriously hope so though i dunno if it might be ur kinda fun!

well...though its not cfm,its kinda sad to hear that you're able to cfm plans which will be in august than any short term plans.to a certain extent,i felt like its so difficult for you to accept a date from me even though we went out today.oh well,i just tot we could spend 1 more day together before i'll be gone away from trainings.Be it gone for at least 2-3 weeks or gone for good.i'll never noe...but i'll never wanna pressure u cos of the simple fact that you dun like.

Labels: dream a dream, Shed a tear

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:30 AM

Monday, July 20, 2009

feels like crap.i really feel like shifting straight back to hall man.im tired of all these.really atrocious!i really wonder if im able to continue staying right in this home?or m i really so used to staying alone,doing watever i wanna do,my way!

i need MORE PEACE...SILENCE...and HARMONY!and it seems that i wont be able to get it back home and thus i'll have to escape back to my 2nd home. i'm heading back!real soon!

FUCK...i hate it when everything seems to be against me.even the air con have to play a prank on me!thanks...REALLY!i love it totally.

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:12 PM

hmmm...im happy today though i din do much!i finally managed to try a TTH with sharon.not bad...but the bad thing abt it is,mengheng is USING GU LAT to do his extension BLK.NO GOOD...u need to get the technique right!ie...im not suppose to use GU LAT!ie...my hands to extension still needs more training!

it was nice spending sometime thinking of routines for future use.we tried to brainstorm and generate ideas and noted them down!hopefully we'll be able to do something really good and out of the world!so looking forward!

pinoy performance was today too.i think its pretty bad cos we really ain't prepared for the performance.just anyhow whack nia.and well,i can feel that im aggravating my left wrist injury!it still hurts though i think i can tahan.but well,i think its abt time to retreat into the comfort zone.but well done to the 2 flyers that managed to try and learn something and use it on the spot.now we just need you girls to get back to training ground and perfect the technique.and super thanks to jimmy for saving the stunts man!his like the sure can do monster in my mind.heheheh...RESPECTS

camps coming,sch starting...will i still be able to keep up with this kinda lifestyle?i really wonder.

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:37 AM

Sunday, July 19, 2009

i just couldn't sleep!many thoughts running thru my head.

its sad to see that you're injured again.i swear the feeling of being injured sucks. esp when u have to sit out of something which u're passionate abt? i swear i share ur pain.i did experience something like that before but perhaps same same but different.i hate it when i have to sit out and not train while my frens as training.i hate it cos it feels like im so useless.sometimes,when i try to push myself and tell myself i can try,it just make things worse and lengthen the time required to recover.instead of helping myself to recover faster and train with the rest,it just gets worse.please please just take a good break.

i seriously hate insensitive bitch and bastards.is it really time to tell them off?now i unds how it feels to be hurt by such ppl. NNB...DLBT!

♥Oh, so vintage... 3:27 AM

Saturday, July 18, 2009

F.U.C.K

wat is wrong with these ppl?arghx...i seriously hate this?why must things turn out this way?cant we just be a little more sensitive to ppl ard us?can't we just spare a thought or give some benefits of doubt to others?why must there be insensitive ppl crapping things out of their mouth without going through their BLOODY BRAINS.and freaking O hell,i did that afew mths back. Which probably lead to you being so unhappy now?

i feel useless cos it seems like i cant do anything?i feel useless cos im not the one that you always turn to?why must it always be him?i really hate to see ya cry!really...and with all that's happening,it really made me take a step back to think twice about my decision.its really annoying...i wanna do something but im afraid it might backfire.its oki if i dun get to cheer anymore.but it doesn't matter to me.its oki for me to get targetted and stuff but i just want you to be happy.i really wonder if the time is right now.arghx...cant it be as simple as a family that cares for one another instead of having ego problems,doubting one another,not listening and insisting on one's way?im beginning to see more and more...its really a pity!

all i wish to say is that i really hope you guys wont take for granted certain ppl that's been putting in so much.we came in as neutral parties but we could see who were the ones that are doing the job and all.whose being taken for granted.all i wish for is that each and everyone could just give everyone a little bit of respect and be abit more sensitive to one another's feeling.i really dun wish to see this team falling apart.

im disappointed...im frustrated...im upset.im watever u can think of now.yes im negative,very!its difficult for me to handle all these right now!arghx...i hate this.

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:08 PM

Friday, July 17, 2009

well...seems like its my last 2 weeks of full fledge training before i start having camps!all i wanna do within this 2 weeks would be to get the following stuff done:

1. toss ext
2. straight lib
3. Cupid
4. Btoss

this is on top of hall routine training!

besides that...i seriously hope we'll be able to spend next sunday together before i disappear for camps for 2 weeks.i noe im gonna miss ya and i dun wanna put pressure on u.if its not going to happen then so be it.just too bad,we can always do it again.and i dun wanna you to feel pressured to keep that day free becos im gonna be away for 2 freaking weeks!mayb u wont...but well,i rather u not know it.

tat's all folks...im happy my part time darling will be back tml!and its nice talking to lingy today!haven seen her for ages.i've not forgotten you!

*i'll tell u abt it soon...trust me.*

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:33 AM

i've got this feeling that we're drifting away!i dunno why.perhaps becos of the workshop and stuff,it seems to have given you a bad image of us.but well,i would say that's how we do things!u'll learn all these in all the management classes too.im not saying that wat u feel is wrong but we're like exchanging ideas. in actual fact,if u dun wan to,you can chose wat you wanna do and how you wanna do it.no matter wat,i'll still be along the way to help you out.

i really dunno wat's going on now but im still gonna be myself!i can make small changes to myself to fit in but not major ones.i think you really have to move on cos it doesn't seem to be the case. its definitely gonna be painful but i guess that's the only way man!

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:02 AM

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

love hate kinda feeling.

Sent off my frenly monster cheerleaders this afternoon!im really thankful that i had the chance to meet nice ppl that's willing to impart their knowledge without showing any sense of arrogance!i really love them alot and i mean it!im falling in love with taiwanese! xiong ge, xiao gong,xiao jun,kevin, mao guai,ba gua, xiao zhao,ya ling and ah song!i miss u ppl...that includes ppl like cong ming,xiao jie,ya tou and many more back in taiwan!

i really wish i could join u guys for this summer camp!but then i guess its not really possible now!but i'll definitely be back for the summer camp next year!and many many many thanks to xiao gong for the MONSTERS CHEERLEADING TEAM towel! i LOVE IT!!!din expect that man and i swear im gonna take good care of it!really thanks alot.hope to cya soon in dec for the workshop!next time round i'll be a good host for sure!hehehe...

tried arabasque for the first time ytd!the feeling was great and i like it.i must work on my straight lib and toss ext!then i'll try arabasque and work on my cupid!!!im sure i'll be getting there in no time.but most imptly, i'll need to work on my HUAN CONG and put in more TLC when stunting with you!thanks for the advice and i promised i'll get it back soon!im already pushing myself!

imagine i did at least 10 mins of handstands yesterday and i still had to tahan the handstand drill given by harlis!omg...i was like SHIT!din expect that.arghx...im working on doing handstand away from the wall.i did stayed for 1 sec ytd!good first try and i think i'll get it soon!JIAYOU and work HARD!

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:59 PM

Saturday, July 11, 2009

mengheng needs to come to senses that if his not good enough,then you'll have to train harder.let other progress and not hinder their progression. only when u get better, then you have a say!if not,its totally selfish to hinder others.

no point getting sad or disappointed over not being able to do.its not gonna help anywayz!do something more logical and train hard...2nd question would be wat i really want.do you really wanna compete?do you have to?and if you want to,you'll need to find a permanent partner and train hard with one another!there shouldn't be any uncertainty anymore,u need to train real hard now!so its back to the question of do you wanna compete?

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:50 PM

好难受。

到底出了什麽绘事？一切的努力就这样泡汤了吗？我很狠自己一直让你从天而降，无法好好去环匆。让你开始和我做stunts 的时候感到害怕！这种滋味真不好受。我真地感到好难受！没有进步反而退步!对不起，真得很对不起。虽然你听过很多编但我还是要说声对不起。我真的真的不知道要如何面对你。看你做high level stunts感到很开心的时候，我就于心不忍，就不叫你陪我练习low level stunts。真的真地对自己很失望。

我真的不知道你心里在想什麽，我也在想我在你心目中到底有什麽地位！我终觉得我们之间还是有一块大石头，让我们无法好好去爱。我也盼望如果有一天那块石头被仓储，我们能好好的恋爱一场。

好累好累！

i really wonder what will happened in time to come.when sch starts and everything...i really start to feel the fatigue even before it starts!i need to get stronger!REALLI much stronger than before.what happen to the determined MENG HENG. WHERE'S UR NV SAY DIE SPIRIT?HAVE IT ALL GONE DOWN INTO THE DRAIN?WHY ARE U SO SLACK?ARHGX...REALLY LIKE ARGHX...I HATE MYSELF VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW!

♥Oh, so vintage... 2:57 AM

Thursday, July 09, 2009

this is really like awww...im happy for my buddy!and im glad u 2 made it together.it really make me wanna do more but well..i really dunno how to begin with.how i wish things were that simple dude!i hope i could bring u ur happiness too.

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:43 AM

Sunday, July 05, 2009

u guys cant believe where im now!i've been like at PPCC for like the past 14hrs.after training = chilling sessioN!and im still at the CC.

damn shag today and i dun feel good now!like very seriously.damn my right hand!arghx...and the alcohol in the blood is driving me high nOW!goodbye world!

i miss my sunshinE!!!hope to cya tml!

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:47 AM

Saturday, July 04, 2009

i haven been blogging for awhile.been rather busy lately.

just came back from my taiwan trip.it was so-so due to many various reasons.i didnt really enjoy it thoroughly but im glad i was there. its a nice place with nice people and nice food and i love it alot.and definitely im gonna revisit that place and visit more places in future!

im glad i've finally spoken up.at least its no longer a secret and we're open abt it. its good that we can be frank with one another. i believe we just need some time for each and everyone of us to sort out our own issues. all i know is that i'm very serious abt this and i can only hope that there's a chance or something.

did i like also mentioned that im posted back to hall 7 once again!i guess all these is fate and i accept it.now all im interested is that we need to practice early and get things done earlier.im sure we'll be able to have a BLASTING performance this year.

IA results were out 2 days back!i've gotten a A+ for it and thus it helped to upgrade my degree to a 2nd lower honours!!!thank god.i'm loving it. i seriously hope that i've been able to get another piece of good news. IE that i'll be able to go for the 2nd round scholarship interview after i've missed the 1st one!i really hope so.i also pray that i'll be able to get the bursary award to help me offset my taiwan trip expenses man!and please pray for me that the MIAP allowance will go thru so that i'll have more money!!!hehehehe...i need them to finance my needs now!i really mean NEEDS.not wants.

cheer wise...im abit upset now!i dunno wat's wrong with me.perhaps its becos im really sick that i feel very nua at trainings.i suddenly feel that i lost my TOSS 2 HANDS totally.i really wonder if the problem lies in me or wat?i must try and do it tml!it feels weird. however, tried back hand spring for the 1st time today.i think i did pretty well considering the fact that i've nv receive the proper training before yet~!im happy!just need to jump more @ the right time!jiayoU!

gotta turn in earli already.tml will be having training from late morning till late! shall update when i have the time again!

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:02 AM